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Now, I know you are all so shocked, because of course I am usually just such an angel :-P Seriously though, have you ever had one of those moments where something just comes over you and you are looking for trouble? I don't know how else to explain it other than a childish impulse to do the wrong thing for the thrill of it. Thankfully, I don't get this feeling often and when I do I am usually able to kindly ask it to go away. But yesterday I befriended that feeling instead and broke a rule.
My sugar intake is strictly controlled by my husband, so if I want a treat I have to ask for it. Sometimes he says yes, but more often the answer is no. I asked him for this rule a few months ago and it's been really great {except that I don't get what I want all the time}. I make almost everything my family eats from scratch so I am in the kitchen a LOT. I have to taste things to make sure they are "right". It is hard to accurately measure caloric intake by the spoonful here and there though. And I confess I also have a bit of a sweet tooth. I also have some weight to lose due to medication and lack of ability{yep, I'm defective} to do any cardio :(
Thus, the rule, but back to what happened. I had a bite sized Twix bar without asking. I wasn't thinking about the state my bottom would be in when I confessed, or that he would be disappointed in my behavior. Nope, I was basically thinking "I want a candy darn it, and I don't want to ask permission because he might say no, and besides I can decide for myself so I just won't tell him!"
I know, I'm shaking my head at me too, even as I write. I ALWAYS tell on myself right away whenever I mess up. I just cannot look him in the eye if I don't. So I told him about 15 minutes afterward, and he almost seemed amused as he lectured me and called me a naughty girl. I had to wait till this morning for my punishment though because that's when the kids would be at school. Ash knows I get nervous when I have to wait, so he kept reminding me through the evening that I had a spanking coming and that he was going to really let me have it. I think that man enjoys seeing me squirm!
The morning came and I went through my usual routine. When Ash got up it was about time for my nap so I was sent upstairs with a resounding smack to my behind and a reminder to "be a good girl and go right to sleep so you will be rested for your spanking." Luckily I fall asleep easily, so I went right to bed feeling safe and warm and forgetting all about my impending doom.
But, naps can't last forever so after I woke up and showered I had to go tell him I was ready. Now, I was getting nervous. I hadn't been spanked in 3 days, and I still have that "rough patch" on my left cheek. It is healing, though slowly, but I was worried that the skin there might crack or something. I shared my concerns with Ash, who bent me over for inspection. He said he didn't think it would be a problem, but he used the big wooded spoon instead of the big wooden paddle anyway, so he could better control the impacted area.
This time I was crying before he even started. There was very little warm up, but it only lasted about 2 or 3 minutes. It was an incredibly long few minutes however. That spoon is thick and he concentrated on my thighs more than usual to save my rear from becoming worse. After it was over and he let me up, he asked if I knew why I was punished and made me tell him out loud in detail instead of just "yes". And he told me that it hurts his heart to have to punish me while I cry so hard. This is new, but welcome. He is a man of "fewer-than-I-would-like" words usually :-}
In the end, I learned my lesson well, and took it to heart that he cares so much about me that he will deny me happiness in the moment to ensure my long-term happiness.
I know, I'm shaking my head at me too, even as I write. I ALWAYS tell on myself right away whenever I mess up. I just cannot look him in the eye if I don't. So I told him about 15 minutes afterward, and he almost seemed amused as he lectured me and called me a naughty girl. I had to wait till this morning for my punishment though because that's when the kids would be at school. Ash knows I get nervous when I have to wait, so he kept reminding me through the evening that I had a spanking coming and that he was going to really let me have it. I think that man enjoys seeing me squirm!
The morning came and I went through my usual routine. When Ash got up it was about time for my nap so I was sent upstairs with a resounding smack to my behind and a reminder to "be a good girl and go right to sleep so you will be rested for your spanking." Luckily I fall asleep easily, so I went right to bed feeling safe and warm and forgetting all about my impending doom.
But, naps can't last forever so after I woke up and showered I had to go tell him I was ready. Now, I was getting nervous. I hadn't been spanked in 3 days, and I still have that "rough patch" on my left cheek. It is healing, though slowly, but I was worried that the skin there might crack or something. I shared my concerns with Ash, who bent me over for inspection. He said he didn't think it would be a problem, but he used the big wooded spoon instead of the big wooden paddle anyway, so he could better control the impacted area.
This time I was crying before he even started. There was very little warm up, but it only lasted about 2 or 3 minutes. It was an incredibly long few minutes however. That spoon is thick and he concentrated on my thighs more than usual to save my rear from becoming worse. After it was over and he let me up, he asked if I knew why I was punished and made me tell him out loud in detail instead of just "yes". And he told me that it hurts his heart to have to punish me while I cry so hard. This is new, but welcome. He is a man of "fewer-than-I-would-like" words usually :-}
In the end, I learned my lesson well, and took it to heart that he cares so much about me that he will deny me happiness in the moment to ensure my long-term happiness.
River, you are definitely not alone with this childish impulse, I have that too, and probably many many other angels around, too. :) We also have such a candy rule, though currently it is suspended, and in the past exactly what you describe has happened here, too. Without the over-night waiting for punishment, though. Just waiting a few hours is already hard, but waiting for a whole night … yuck!
ReplyDeleteI fully understand that you were already feeling that bad before punishment started and after waiting and not being able to bring this to a close, I would be a complete mess, and only too happy to finally get over with it. But I think it is great that Ash told you how hard it is for him to punish you when you are crying. It shows a lot of care and love and it surely shows that he wants to see you really happy not just the sweet tooth cravings satisfied. I love moments when it becomes clear that they care so much more that they deny little things for long-term happiness.
Concerning squirming: I think HoHs secretly do pass a ‘let your sub squirm’ exam, because hubby enjoys that activity too and he also enjoys all the teasing that comes with it.
hugs
Nina
It's good to know that I'm not the only one, but I'm glad this rule is suspended for you right now. It is just plain mean to deny a pregnant woman her cravings!!
DeleteAhh, the rules we need and hate. It's so hard to turn away from just a little piece of chocolate. I really like how honest you are and that you just can't be dishonest. That makes for the best of relationships. And it is really good to know how much you mean to Ash. I know my husband has a hard time giving me a punishment spanking.
ReplyDeleteFor some reason, Ty calls me Stinkerbell. I have no idea why, I am never naughty, never brat, or get sassy. ;-)
Haha, I love the nickname! I can't imagine a dd relationship working very well without honesty, so I'm glad I always tell on myself. Knowing how hard it is for him to truly punish me is also an additional deterrent to misbehavior (when I am thinking rationally!)
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