Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Who is This Liebster?

Many thanks to the lovely Nina at Awesome Feeling of Love for  nominating me for the

 I think this is a wonderful way for us all to get to know each other better and discover new blogs to visit!

Here are the rules:

1. Thank the person who nominated you and post a link to their blog on your blog.
2. Display the award on your blog-- by including it in your post and / or displaying it using a "widget" or "gadget".
3. Answer 11 questions about yourself which will be provided to you by the person who nominated you.
4. Provide 11 random facts about yourself.
5. Nominate 5 to 11 blogs you feel deserve this award, who have less than 1000 followers. (Note that you can ask the blog owner this since not all blogs display the widget that lets readers know this information.
6. Create a new list of questions for the blogger to answer.
7. List these rules on your post. Once you have written and published it, you then have to :
8. Inform people/blogs that they have been nominated for the Liebster Award and provide a link for them to your post so they can learn about it (they might not have heard of it!)

 Nina's questions for me, and my answers:

1. What's your favourite sleeping position (spoon, back-to-back, etc.)? 
 I always sleep curled up in a semi-fetal position on my right side wrapped in a cocoon of blankets
2. Have you got a favourite mug, cup or piece of china, and if so, what made it your favourite?
Nope :)

3. If you could change one thing in your life, what would it be?
My financial status

4. What is the most important thing that you have learned from current and past relationships?
It takes true honesty(with yourself and with your partner)to have a deep connection. Holding back only ensures that your love isn't as deep as it could be.

5. What do you find most attractive in your partner?
His sense of humor and confidence

6. What are the three favourite things you can't live without?
Tea, fuzzy blankets, and my family

7. What's the first thing you notice when you look at someone?
Their eyes. I tend to make a lot of eye contact

8. What's your favourite book genre?
I love a good historical romance, but horror fiction(love Stephen King) is my fave

9. Is there a favourite song of yours? All-time or currently?
My current favorites are the songs from the movie "Frozen" 

10. What's the favourite treat that you give yourself once in a while?
Bubble baths!(which of course include wine and candles)

11. What's the best gift you have ever received?
My first baby was born right before Christmas, so I got to take her home on Christmas Eve and "unwrap" her! 

11 Random Facts About Me 

I love love love to eat lemons with lots of salt

I have reddish hair and my ancestry is  mostly Irish and Scottish

I have been to Mexico, Canada, California, Oregon, and Washington but no where else

I sometimes meow like a cat to songs when I am feeling goofy(my husband made me add this in, I think I will refrain from asking for his help again!)

If I were able to work I would love to be a chef

I am a bargain hunter, and I hate to pay full price for anything unless I have to

I crack myself up! I think of funny things all the time and I'm too embarrassed to say them sometimes, so If you see a weirdo laughing to herself in public, it's probably me :)

I love writing fiction and I'm currently working on a novel

I am a simple girl: I own 3 pairs of shoes, 1 purse, and a couple pairs of earrings for accessories

I would love to have more land to have chickens and a cow

I dream vividly and bizarrely in multiple languages, black&white and color, sometimes I'm another person, and I always remember at least one of my dreams every day. 

Now, if you are still reading and haven't run screaming, here are my nominations :

Lenna        Surrendered Wife         Master49         FloridaDom           EsMay and Duke Sir

Here is my list of questions for the above bloggers, should they choose to participate:

1. If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
2. What is the part of your body you find most attractive?
3. What is your favorite movie genre? 
4. If you were offered the job of leader of your country, would you take it? Why/why not?
5. If you had to pick a motto or tagline for your life, what would it be?
6. Do you believe in magic or supernatural phenomena?
7. If you were an animal, what would you be?
8. What is your favorite indulgence?
9. What do you value most about your partner? If you are unattached, what would you look for in a potential partner?
10. Do you eat dinner at the table with your family?
11. Is there anything you wish more people knew about you?

Well, there it is folks! Now you know more about me, let's learn some more about you :) 


Friday, April 25, 2014

Off The Ledge

Today was an "off" day for me. I was easily annoyed and a little tightly wound, and I  had been distancing myself all morning in an effort to conceal my emotions. Then I had an emotional breakdown as soon as the children were gone. I think it kind of scares Ash to see me so very upset and not know why. I couldn't keep from crying even though I tried, as I explained my frustrations at the situation. I was feeling so very sad and hopeless about it because we have both been doing everything in our power to change this situation, but no matter what we do nothing seems to make a difference.

Usually, I am the positive, calm one when it comes to this subject and he is the one who freaks out, so this was really unusual for me. Since I couldn't calm down and I was overtired from missing my morning nap, Ash told me to go lay down. I did, but I couldn't sleep. He came to check on me and found I wasn't sleeping, so he asked me why.  I just couldn't turn my brain off, and talking to him made me cry again from my emotions just being so raw. I broke down and shared my concerns with him in detail, just sobbing.

That's when he surprised me. He told me "You are mine, I've got you. We will get through this together, like we get through everything."{I'm paraphrasing here because I was too upset to memorize his actual words, but you get the drift} Then he hugged me and told me to take a bath and relax, which I did.
I emerged an hour later feeling a lot better, ready to face the challenges that life continues to throw our way. I thanked him for "talking me down off the ledge" so to speak, and we resumed our day.
I am so grateful for the man I call my husband, lover, Hoh, soul mate.  He really is perfect for me :)

Tuesday, April 22, 2014


I was a naughty girl yesterday.
 Now, I know you are all so shocked, because of course I am usually just such an angel :-P         Seriously though, have you ever had one of those moments where something just comes over you and you are looking for trouble? I don't know how else to explain it other than a childish impulse to do the wrong thing for the thrill of it. Thankfully, I don't get this feeling often and when I do I am usually able to kindly ask it to go away. But yesterday I befriended that feeling instead and broke a rule.
My sugar intake is strictly controlled by my husband, so if I want a treat I have to ask for it. Sometimes he says yes, but more often the answer is no. I asked him for this rule a few months ago and it's been really great {except that I don't get what I want all the time}.  I make almost everything my family eats from scratch so I am in the kitchen a LOT. I have to taste things to make sure they are "right".  It is hard to accurately measure caloric intake by the spoonful here and there though.  And I confess I also have a bit of a sweet tooth.  I also have some weight to lose due to medication and lack of ability{yep, I'm defective} to do any cardio :(
Thus, the rule, but back to what happened. I had a bite sized Twix bar without asking.  I wasn't thinking about the state my bottom would be in when I confessed, or that he would be disappointed in my behavior. Nope, I was basically thinking "I want a candy darn it, and I don't want to ask permission because he might say no, and besides I can decide for myself so I just won't tell him!"
 I know, I'm shaking my head at me too, even as I write. I ALWAYS tell on myself right away whenever I mess up.  I just cannot look him in the eye if I don't. So I told him about 15 minutes afterward, and he almost seemed amused as he lectured me and called me a naughty girl. I had to wait till this morning for my punishment though because that's when the kids would be at school. Ash knows I get nervous when I have to wait, so he kept reminding me through the evening that I had a spanking coming and that he was going to really let me have it.  I think that man enjoys seeing me squirm!
The morning came and I went through my usual routine. When Ash got up it was about time for my nap so I was sent upstairs with a resounding smack to my behind and a reminder to "be a good girl and go right to sleep so you will be rested for your spanking."  Luckily I fall asleep easily, so I went right to bed feeling safe and warm and forgetting all about my impending doom.
But, naps can't last forever so after I woke up and showered I had to go tell him I was ready. Now, I was getting nervous.  I hadn't been spanked in 3 days, and I still have that "rough patch" on my left cheek.  It is healing, though slowly, but I was worried that the skin there might crack or something.  I shared my concerns with Ash, who bent me over for inspection. He said he didn't think it would be a problem, but he used the big wooded spoon instead of the big wooden paddle anyway, so he could better control the impacted area.
This time I was crying before he even started.  There was very little warm up, but it only lasted about 2 or 3 minutes. It was an incredibly long few minutes however.  That spoon is thick and he concentrated on my thighs more than usual to save my rear from becoming worse.  After it was over and he let me up, he asked if I knew why I was punished and made me tell him out loud in detail instead of just "yes".  And he told me that it hurts his heart to have to punish me while I cry so hard. This is new, but welcome. He is a man of "fewer-than-I-would-like" words usually :-} 
In the end, I learned my lesson well, and took it to heart that he cares so much about me that he will deny me happiness in the moment to ensure my long-term happiness. 

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Rough Patch

Let me explain: not a rough patch in my life or marriage, but on my rear! For the past week and a half or so, Ash insists that after I shower and get all lotioned-up, I come to him and and ask for a spanking. He quite enjoys pinning me down and walloping away until I cry and kick like a little girl.  He even laughs a lot sometimes while he's spanking me like that because he says I look exactly like a kid in the really old school cartoons throwing a fit while being spanked. But in my defense, it flippin' hurts. But back on topic, after many days of daily thorough spankings, I developed a bit of a rough patch on one of my sit spots.  I have been using lotion and coconut oil throughout the day and it's getting better. I was just wondering if this has happened to any of you, and if anyone knows why that happens? It is the spot that is most sore, so I'm assuming it got more smacks than other spots, but that's all I know that could be the difference. And just in case you were wondering, all of these spankings were good girl spankings, but they left me quite sore! We went for a walk about an hour after my morning spanking today and even my panties rubbing on my bottom was uncomfortable :)  I made the mistake of telling Ash and he just grinned, smacked my fanny, and said "Good".

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Very Intimate Spanking

So lately, my husband has rediscovered the joys of the first paddle we ever purchased. It is a thin but heavy plastic one, and is all sting. The other day he decided to spank me after I got out of the shower. I had dried off, but I was all lotioned up, and I had also just rubbed a lot of coconut oil onto my booty cheeks.  I do this after every shower to keep things soft and decrease the chance of skin breakage, because that's just no fun. However, getting spanked on a freshly oiled bum is not so fun either!  Ash had me lay on the bed then angled himself so that it was similar to otk.  He did start out rather lightly(so he says!)but it was so stingy that I kept trying to squirm away, so he trapped me with his legs and went to town.  Apparently he thought all my thrashing about and squealing was funny, because he laughed the entire time! Near the end, he spread my cheeks and spanked the inside of them!!! This was quite a shock to me, and very stingy, but I did my best to be compliant. That made me feel so submissive, and he had never done anything like that before. It was a physical reminder that there is no part of me that he can't have, in whatever way he wants.
 I am a lucky girl :) 

Friday, April 4, 2014

Shopping and When Good Spankings go Bad

My husband took me grocery shopping today early in the morning without giving me coffee(he's not evil, we just didn't have time).  If you have read any of my previous posts, you probably know exactly how much I love mornings....which is not at all.  However, I was very appreciative that he was coming because I sometimes have trouble driving, lifting heavy groceries, keeping focused and not wandering around the store looking at anything that catches my eye......so, I was doing my best to be good and please him. I wore an outfit I know he likes and I had my list and my coupons ready for each store we went to.  I thought I was doing well as we began to navigate the first market, but I accidentally got a bit snippy when I told him which way we needed to go. He immediately stopped and made me look at him and sternly warned me about my attitude.

I knew he was right but it was kind of hard to be sorry when he didn't want to listen to my directions in the first place, which is what caused the frustration and snippy tone of voice on my part. But after a few moments of seeing that "look" in his eyes-the "you are cruisin' for a bruisin'" look-and hearing his chastising words, I came to my senses and apologized.  I was almost an angel for the rest of the trip (which lasted 2 long hours) and he was so incredibly patient with me. We came home and I put everything away, made him lunch and cuddled with him on the couch :)  I can't believe what a lucky girl I am sometimes!
I haven't really been in much trouble lately, just little things here and there which he quickly takes care of.  I have really been too busy lately to get into much mischief, but he has also been watching me pretty closely and stopping even the hint of defiance or attitude....and giving lots of praise that makes my heart{and other places!} melt.  So the only "real"{aka more than a minute/tears involved}spanking I've gotten this week was for r/a and pain management on Tuesday.  For the warm-up he brought out the first implement we ever bought, a black plastic paddle. It's thin but fairly dense-no idea what it's made of-and big enough to cover both cheeks. I had really forgotten how much it stings!  In order for a spanking to impact the pain in the rest of my body, it has to be pretty painful so he decided to use the horrible cable flogger I made him for the main event.
He had me lay over a pillow on the bed and sat next to me, and then the horror began. I was trying to claw away from him by the third stroke, but he had a hold on the back of my shirt and used it to keep me where he wanted. It was over relatively quickly, maybe 2 minutes, but I was sweaty and sobbing afterward. The pain was just so intense, and hard to wrap my head around. It took some time for me to calm down, but when I did he noticed that there were loop shaped welts all along the outer part of my left butt cheek toward my hip. It would have been no big deal, but there had been no warm up given to that part of my flesh. Thus the intense and overwhelming pain! He felt really bad, but the welts didn't start to raise until he was done, so he couldn't have known.  Guess what his response was after cuddles and kisses? "I guess I will just have to make sure I warm you up very thoroughly next time and practice my aim more often!" Yep, that's my husband.