Friday, November 1, 2013

Why do I Want to Bite my Husband When he Spanks me?

I wonder if I am alone in this feeling?  In the big picture, I want my husband to spank me anytime he feels it would benefit me/him/us.  But as soon as I know I will be getting a spanking soon, I get nervous.  I hesitate when he calls me over, I pull my pants down when asked but then try to tug my shirt lower.  It takes forever for me to get into position, hoping to delay the process, but I get hurried along with swats anyway.  As my butt is being rained upon by a fiery brush that must have come from hell, all I can think about is how much it hurts and try to stay in position.  If I am spanked long enough, usually a few minutes after I start really crying, I turn into an obedient angel ready and willing to please my husband.  However, if he stops short of that, I come up trying desperately not to utter the words waiting to spring forth from my tongue. Words like bigmeaniestupidheadIdon'tlikeyourightnow! and goawaythathurtyoua-hole!  Words that needless to say(but I'm still saying it!), are generally not well received.  This is what happened today. I am sitting on a freshly spanked backside at the moment and have been ordered asked by my husband to write about my feelings and view of the experience. So, in mostly non-fiction format, here is how I experienced my spanking:

"Okay, it's time.  Go fetch the brush," Ash said, looking at his beautiful wife of 10 years.  "Already? How come I have to go get it?" she replied feeling embarrassed that she had to do this, not quite whining but close.  "Because I have the power, and I order you to get it," he told her, daring her with a stern look to push the issue.  He knew that the real answer was that it was a sign of his dominance and her submission, and it helped put her in the right mindset to be disciplined, but he waited for her to comply without further explanation. "Fine, but I have to use the bathroom first," she said, reluctantly getting up from her perch on the sofa and heading to the bathroom.  Once inside, she prepared for her impending fate by using the facilities, brushing her hair, pulling all the hair out of the brush that was there from before and examining different items on the counter before she was rudely interrupted by a knock and a "Hurry up in there!" from the bossy gentleman outside the door.  Time to face the music.  She opened the door and handed the instrument of her doom to the man that was about to demonstrate his love for her in a very unconventional way.
She went to her usual spot over the back of the couch when she heard "Pants down, young lady."
Slowly she complied, taking as long as possible to bend over the back of the couch and get into position.  She knew this was going to hurt!  "Ow! I'm not ready yet," complained River when Ash smacked her thigh.  "Well I am, so let's go," he said as he put his hand on her back to help her into place.  And with that, Ash began her spanking without a warm-up.  He believed a spanking should be felt by the recipient from beginning to end, no need to ease into it.  More than once he had to reprimand his silly wife for crying out so loudly.  They lived in a house with thin walls and had nosy neighbors nearby after all.
While her husband was lighting a fire in her bum, River was thinking "This sucks, OW, I hate this, OW! Dumb brush, OWWW!"  Ash picked up the pace of the swats a bit, making sure to deliver several in a row to the same spots and making his target wiggle.  He could tell from River's body language that she was almost done.  She wasn't moving as much, got quieter, and started to make what sounded like crying noises.  A few more hard swats, then he stopped.  "Ok, you're done love," he told his wife and helped her up.  Ash was surprised to see that River was trembling slightly but glaring in his direction.  "What's this?" he asked, "What's wrong?"
"I don't want to tell you," River replied, upset and embarrassed and worried all at the same time.  "Out with it," came the order she dreaded and needed.   She allowed the words to tumble out of her brain onto her tongue before she couldn't say them.  "Um, I'm not saying I want another spanking, I'm just going to tell you that if you stop spanking me too soon it makes me feel bitey and mad at you.  If you stop before I start to cry it's okay, but if I start crying I need you to to keep going for a while.  I know it doesn't make sense but it's true.  But you don't need to continue now!" she added hopefully.  Only in the moment, when he was stopping too soon and she knew it, did she have the strength to lay there and keep taking her punishment.  Once it stopped, though, she wanted it to stay that way thank you very much!  "You're feeling "Bitey"? So when I don't spank you long enough you want to bite me?"  Ash asked his wife.  "Well, yes, but not now, and I won't do it!" she promised, a bit desperate sounding. "Well, my dear, we can't have that.  And it would be unfair of me to leave you with those feelings to deal with on your own.  So, I will help you," he said with a smile.  It was with more than a little bit of dread that she obeyed his order to lay back over the couch for another dose of the brush.  She got the distinct feeling that he was happy to have her bent over again so soon. He picked up right where he left off, smacking her sore bottom hard and fast with the brush.
"Why did I open my mouth? Why the hell can't I hide my feelings better?" River thought as her husband began smacking her butt with renewed vigor.  Of course she knew she couldn't and shouldn't hide her feelings.  Openness was a big part of DD for her and Ash. But she wished that at least she could change her feelings.  They made no sense and frustrated her deeply.
This time she knew he was going for tears, so she didn't even try to be brave and hold back.  After less than a minute she began to cry, just a little.  Partly from the pain, but also because being spanked made her feel helpless, embarrassed, slightly sorry for herself, and very much not in control.  As hard as those feelings were for her to process, she knew she needed to let them in.  They were a great reminder to let things go and remember that Ash, not she, was in charge in the day-to-day moments.  It was her job to communicate her needs to him, and his job to decide how to meet those needs.  At the moment, he was giving her the emotional release she seemed to need quite frequently.
Ash spanked fast on her sit spots and hard on her cheeks, landing a  few high on each thigh every now and then for good measure too.  Soon she was openly sobbing, gasping in great gulps of air in between swats, with tears streaming down her face. It was cathartic at least, if undignified and very unpleasant.  But, this what what she needed.  
After what seemed like forever (but was really only a couple of minutes) Ash punctuated River's bottom cheeks with some extra hard swats and was done.  He rubbed her back for a moment as she lay bent over the couch, still, knowing that she needed time to catch her breath.  When he heard her begin to breathe more normally he helped her up and into his arms.  "There, it's over now, shhhhh, it's all ok," he soothed her as she cried softly into his shoulder.  After a few moments River looked up into her Husband's eyes and whispered, "Thank you."   Her face was streaked with tears but the admiration, love and respect that shone in her eyes and the awe in her voice moved him.  Ash hugged her tighter and told her "You're welcome, honey.  I hope you know that I love you.  I always worry that you'll think I don't when I spank you hard and long and make you cry."   "But that's when I know for sure that you do love me," she said quietly. 


  1. Hi River. I love this piece and feel so much the same way. I am going to send it to Alex for him to read as well. Guys definitely struggle with how long and how hard to spank and even though we have been doing this for a while it still can be hard sometimes. You explain it very well.

    Welcome to blogging! I know you will find lots of great support!

    1. Hi Zoe, thank you so much for taking the time to comment! I'm glad you can relate :) I just realized last night that I worry so much about my side of the "how long/how hard" debacle that I often forget to consider the implications of this for him. Thank you for the welcome :)

  2. I always want to bite, but it's (unreasonably) against the rules...