A little of this, a little of that

My Daddy is pretty attentive. That said, I am a girl. I don't always say exactly what I mean and sometimes I am good at hiding what I don't want him to know(at the time). Oh, he can tell when I'm out of sorts,  or upset.  But when life gets too be too much, and my adult leadership/big girl responsibilities are too much for the moment and all I want is time with my Daddy? I try to hide that.  I'm afraid he will be put off by my neediness. I'm afraid to ask for his dominance.  I find it difficult sometimes to have to switch fromalpha at work to sub at home. And, I'm afraid/hopeful he will want to remedy my feelings with a spanking. What is it that makes me love and crave the sadist in him? Sometimes in my fantasies, he will give me pain,  and tell me to take it, simply because he wants me to have it,  and I LIKE THAT!?! Yes I do. As much as I need my caring Daddy who is sensitive to my feelings and needs,  I also crave the stern, can't change his mind,  disciplinarian who will make me take  everything I deserve,  plus a little bit more. Am I high maintenance? Some would say so.