So it's a little difficult to see and comment without cutting myself!
I tried a screen cover but there were too many glass shards for it to stick well :( Oh well, at least I didn't get in trouble for breaking it. It really was an accident and I was crying as I told him what I did because I felt terrible. He assured me that it was no big deal, he loves me more than his phone, lol. What I wanted to share tonight was a short "story" that I wrote for my husband a little while ago. I was trying to explain how I was feeling at the time but I couldn't do it because it just upset me, so I had to pretend it wasn't me. I pretended that He and I were just character from one of my stories. Can anyone here identify?
Once
upon a time there was a woman who missed a Man. She was a slave who missed her
Master, a pet who missed her Owner, a wife who missed her husband, a slut who
missed being used, a naughty little girl who missed her strict disciplinarian,
a submissive who missed her Sir, a queen who missed her King. She was used to
having decisions made for her, being watched closely, and being given
instructions and orders. She was also
accustomed to obeying this Man, for if she didn’t she knew that she would be
punished. You see, she loved this Man
she missed more than anything in the whole world, and he loved her too. He showed his love to her every day by seeing
areas of her life that she struggled with and helping her change them. More than just a Man, He was her creator too,
molding and shaping her through loving discipline, helping her become the
person they both knew she could be. Now,
I know it sounds like a lot of work that the Man was doing, and it was. But it was not without benefit for Him as
well. His woman could be whatever he needed her to be, he only had to command
it. Helping His woman overcome her stumbling blocks in life made Him think
about His own actions. She always looked
at Him with stars in her eyes, and truly if you asked her, she would tell you
that the sun rose and set with Him. The
trust she put in Him to guide her through life made Him very aware of his own
moral failures and triumphs, so that he too was constantly becoming a better
person.
But lately the Man had withdrawn a bit, not guiding and
disciplining his woman the way he usually did. This made the woman begin to
feel insecure about her place in the world. She knew that the Man loved her
still, though he didn’t show it in all the ways he usually did. But knowing and seeing are different
things. She wanted to be truthful to the
Man when he asked her what was wrong, but she thought it would only upset him
to hear the truth so she said “nothing”.
The woman tried her best to be patient and bide her time until the man returned
to his true self, but emotions continued to overwhelm her. Every time the Man failed to discipline or
lecture or instruct her, a voice rang out in her head: “He doesn’t love you”. Every time she lay in bed, unused, the voice
repeated: “He doesn’t love you.” Her head knew this to be a lie, but her heart
was not always so wise. But still, she
pushed the voice aside and after many tears, banished the voice again and
again.
At any command he gave her, her heart surged with
happiness. With every infrequent
correction, she nearly swooned. These
things were tangible proof of his love! She would try harder to be patient and
wait for him to come back to her.
The
End
River, I am happy for you having a good time and it is so great to have news from you, too. The broken phone sucks and I hope that this can be fixed, that would be neat. The story you wrote is absolutely awesome. I loved every word of it and kept nodding all the time, because in a way you wrote down so much of what is important between hubby and me, too. You wrote so much of how it feels to be able to rely on a husband we know we can trust and who helps us grow so much. This is lovely.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely enjoyed reading your story, and the beginning already made me smile, because I love that you showed all the different kinds of woman, too. The way you show how ‘this woman’ felt because her owner had withdrawn a little, is so clear and what she is looking and waiting for, is something I get so well, too. I am curious what Ash said. As a declaration of your love it would bring me to tears immediately, because for me this is so beautiful. But you also described your needs and what you long for so crystal clear and in a very encouraging way, because you want Ash to act on it. You really leave me positively speechless with it and I wish I could do it that way too.
hugs
Nina
Nina you are too sweet! I'm glad you understood so well what I meant in my story. Ash was very grateful for it because for a long while (weeks really, but it seemed much longer!) I was so very emotional and things that most people wouldn't notice at all could make me cry for the whole day. I used to think sometimes that he didn't truly understand the depth of my need for him, but he's proven that he does. Thank you for being such a sweet friend!
DeleteSo glad to see you back. It's really hard when you can't get on line. I liked your story, I certainly understand it. I too know my husband love me very, very much. But actions speak so much louder than words! I need more action.
ReplyDeleteThanks PK,
DeleteIt's great to be back, even if just sporadically. I knew you guys would all understand the need for action :-) Here's hoping more action comes your way!
Hi Raine,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you understand, and things did improve so much after that. Thank you for the link to the new blog!
Hey River...happy to see you back...even if it's just for a bit. Sorry you broke your husband's phone...hope you can get a new one soon...meanwhile, be careful and don't cut your fingers! Thanks for sharing your story...did it help your husband understand what you were going through?
ReplyDeleteHugs and Blessings...
Cat
Hi Cat,
DeleteThanks, it's great to be back! It really did help him understand how I felt :-)
Urgh. I did the same thing to our Blackberry. Not the glass shard thing, but the broken display behind it~ So angry with myself about it!
ReplyDeleteDid you ever notice that if our men are 'coasting along' and we aren't engaged in the community too, things seem infinitely worse? I mean there are times that reading or chatting isn't great when we aren't in a good place either~ but having no outlet SUCKS!
Dump in me in the pile with the rest of the women who understand exactly what you are talking about. In fact we'd all do well to share this with our husbands.
Hope you return to 'active duty' soon. In all fronts.
Hi Willie,
DeleteIt's great to hear from you! Sorry about your blackberry :-( I definitely agree that things get worse without the outlet of Blogland. Even when things are not at their best here, reading and talking with you guys really helps me to keep working on my submission regardless of the amount of leadership I'm bring given. After I shared this with him, Ash understood much better what kind of impact his leadership or lack thereof has on me. I do hope that if anyone finds something worth sharing in anything I have to say, that you feel free to take it, refine and edit it to fit you if need be. I often pull up a page that resonates with me and copy down the parts I find most relevant too show Ash. I do hope that you and yours are all doing well up north! Thanks for stopping by :-)
HUGS River! :) Sorry about your broken phone. Our youngest dropped hers on the tile the other day and experienced the same. We found a kiosk in a mall that replaced the glass- it was cheaper than the price of a new one. Rob told her that she is on her own the next time. Anyway, hope that idea helps.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard when our guys step back and are not on top of things in this way. I am glad to hear that you shared and that it helped. Many hugs,
<3 Katie
Hi Katie,
DeleteHow nice of you guys too help your daughter with her phone :-) I would replace the glass if it were a regular phone, but we mainly use it like a tablet and with back to school shopping there is no extra $$ to waste on something like that. But thank you for the idea!
Love, river