Adjustments

So, how are things, you ask? Well, life is happening. Lots of kid's functions and extended-family drama. School's almost out, so there's lots of planning to do to keep those kiddos entertained and out of trouble! In my last post I told you that our D/s-DD dynamic was still going strong. That's still true. But I have learned some things about myself over the past couple weeks.
 I have learned that I need frequent reminders to submit to my husband, even when physical reminders aren't possible. Apparently I tend to get a little too independent when I only get spanked once every 9 days or so. Ash still smacks my butt frequently throughout the day, but there's a special, almost magical thing that happens when I am well-spanked. It seems to transform my attitude completely. I stop trying to figure things out on my own, I don't worry, I don't question him or try to get my way. For a few days after he holds me tightly and spanks away(as I cry and try my best to avoid the swats) I am gentle, peaceful, docile, obedient, happy.  I look to him for my answers, and ask for permission when I should.
I have learned that I get insecure when I think he may not be secure in his role. After many days of not experiencing his physical dominance much, I am not up for jokes about how he is willing to put up with a pile of laundry on the bed because he is just glad that he doesn't have to fold it. I don't react well when he tells me to get into position and I do it halfway and he lets it go. Little things can put me in a very vulnerable and sad place. So I had to write him a letter and explain, because to a normal person, joking about laundry does not make them question their role in a relationship. Of course he knew that he could command that I find a way to keep up on all the chores I usually do despite the extra demands on my time, I just needed to hear him say that he was being mindful of my needs and limits. We both learned while leniency may seem kind, it's not what I need.
Like all good things, our relationship is constantly evolving and growing. I consider my husband my partner, my love, my Dom, Hoh, Master. I have learned that I really get joy from serving him too, and things are so peaceful between us. Even when I accidentally create drama, he takes care of it and it's over before it starts. I feel so blessed to be married to such a man, that understands me so well, and continues to work at doing so.
Life is truly crazy and busy and messy. But how boring would it be otherwise? :)

Caution: Changes in The Road Ahead!

Life is sure crazy these days. Spring is here and the time to sit under a cozy blanket and blog by the fire is gone. Now I'm lucky if I get to sit down at all during the day! This is the time for digging in the garden, going to the park, walking to school instead of driving, and opening the windows wide. Unfortunately this leaves little time for playing on the internet. In addition to this, my 2 young nephews are now living with my husband and I for at least the next month. It is a big change for us to add 2 preschoolers to our 3 bedroom house, especially since my youngest is now 8, so nothing is childproofed anymore :) But all is going well so far. They miss their parents of course, but we are staying busy.

{not us of course but you get the picture!}

I do, however, miss my privacy terribly. I used to have a few uninterrupted hours every day with my Sir, but that is now a thing of the past. We have 2 hours alone together 3-4 days a week, which I know is more than some people get, but I have been spoiled. Thank goodness he is such a wonderful man. Our dd-D/s dynamic has not slipped even a little, despite having constant company these days. Even when his mother came to spend the day with us, I was not excused from answering with "yes, Sir" to his questions and requests. And he must have been feeling particularly ballsy today because we had all 5 children plus 2 neighbor kids playing at our house. They all ran upstairs while we were downstairs, and he quickly whipped my pants down and smacked my ass a couple of times, very hard. Then he pulled my pants up and and answered to my questioning look, "Just because."

 I can still kneel at his feet and hug him, though I will have a toddler climbing on my back, and though it is really a struggle sometimes to maintain my submission when I am managing 5 loud boisterous small people and all the meals and squabbles and needs that come with them, he really helps keep me calm and centered.
So while I will be sneaking in reading and commenting as much as time will allow, I kind of doubt that I will have very much time to post. If anything happens here that truly bears mention though, I promise I'll make an effort.  Though it does seems that blogland is less occupied these days, this is the season to get up and play and make the most of the sunshine if we get any :)  When darker, chilly days return, I'm sure we'll all pick up our mugs of cider and our laptops to hunker down and ponder more deeply ttwd.