Life and Bruises

Man, life is sure happening.  This time of year is when we settle into new routines and enjoy earlier bedtimes.  There is  a definite chill in the air where I live, leaves are turning gorgeous colors, gardens are being harvested one last time.  Best of all, my husband has changed his schedule at work so that he's available more often....sometimes even when the kids are in school!  It's been great to hang out with him more, and he's definitely taken the opportunity to tease, torment, and satisfy me more often :) 

I don't know if this is normal or not, but usually beyond getting red, my bottom no longer marks, so we haven't seen bruises on me in quite a while.  But a few days ago, Ash decided to switch things up and made me spread my legs as I bent over the back of our big chair, so he could reach the inside of my cheeks, and thoroughly worked me over with the horrible holey plastic spoon.  He kept stopping to have me service him though, so I got mini breaks and didn't realize just how bad it had gotten back there.  I was sore for sure, even had to play on the tablet on my tummy, which I don't usually need to do.  But it didn't occur to me to look at the damage until the following day when I was exiting the shower(and then only cause it was still so tender!).  I was really surprised to find several tiny bruises on one side and a lemon-sized purple splotch on the other. Unfortunately, I think that area will soon be a bruise-free zone too like the rest of my bottom. It kind of sucks not having marks show up anymore, because when all that's left is a slight redness after a few hours, he might think he didn't do a good enough job!

I keep thinking of things I would like to post about, but only having internet access two days a week is cramping my style in that department, plus I'm super busy.  Managing the day to day kid stuff, serving my husband full time, and cooking all our food from scratch is about all I am up to right now anyway, so unfortunately all I have right now is mundane updates. I am still  slowly working on my novel, only about an hour a day, so I probably won't be finished for a year at this rate.  But the next time I post I should be in a place where I can include an interesting, if not spicy, excerpt.

Until then, I leave you with this loving image  :)

I popped

Well, despite the great advice given to me and a little effort on my part, I still have not been properly spanked since the first week of June. There were a few mini-punishments, lots of smacks here and there, including a very public handful of hard smacks at the grocery store, and many more in the kitchen where we have 2 drawers plus a canister full of potential implements stashed away. I actually have been really well behaved, aside from a few little things. I have spoken to him with a less than pleasant tone at times, stuck my tongue out once or twice, forgotten a chore once.  Those were all dealt with quickly and were over, no big deal.  So in my husband's mind (I am pretty much guessing here, aside from a few times of him telling me what a good girl I have been) there is no real reason to spank. We have discussed the lack of span I still call him Sir, I serve him and I obey him gladly most of the time. We sit together each night and I get to snuggle under his arm, he still makes me go to bed each night when he says I am tired enough, whether I want to or not(darn him for reading me so well in that department!) and kisses me goodnight. I am submissive to him.  But.........over the last month my attitude and outlook have changed a little bit. Where  before I was eager to serve him every time, now sometimes it's a chore. Where I used to obey with a genuine smile, now I sometimes fake one. I don't feel as close and connected to him, and I am guilty of a gradual "un-softening" of my heart. Something's been missing and I have been clueless as to how to put it into words, but here is a picture. (By the way, I do know that what I have with him is more than some people could dream of and that I am spoiled. But please don't take offense, I am just trying to process.)

I have also been confused as to his expectations of me in certain ways. For example, he always tells me that he wants me to be myself, that he likes how I tell him what I think and that I play around. But sometimes I get in trouble for those same things. Not as much lately, but today.....I was in the kitchen and we had been chatting back and forth playfully. I said something VERY mildly insulting to him, joking as we had been all morning. He didn't find it as funny as I did and gave me a very solid whack with a heavy spoon that has holes in it(while I futilely attempted to explain what I said).  That was when the past month's worth of not enough attention and decreasing connection came to a head and I popped. I melted down into immediate tears and couldn't form a coherent word, so I excused myself to my room. Ash followed me, horrified. Apparently he had meant to deliver a playful swat, not leave a big purple bruise with one swat and emotionally overwhelm me. He apologized profusely and I assured him that I was "fine", and asked for time alone, which he gave me. I sobbed and did chores trying to process what I was feeling and understand why on earth I was so upset. About an hour later Ash came to check on me and patiently but persistently prodded me to talk to him. When it took me ten minutes to share with him that I was confused and hurt and felt that I was no longer his priority, and I still couldn't tell him why.....that 's when I knew that I had been building walls around my heart this whole time. I knew what I needed, but I was too upset and embarrassed to explain it. It makes me feel so inferior as a woman sometimes that I need his instructive and disciplinary influence on me to be really happy in our marriage.  And emotionally, I was feeling just like I did the first time I had to explain to him that I wanted him to discipline me. So I didn't go there. And I tried so hard to calm down for him, I really did. But I remain on the verge of tears even now, hours later, and I suspect many more will be shed before I am done writing to/for him.  Why is it so hard to understand my feelings? They're mine, after all. Am I just emotionally stupid? Do I not pay enough attention to life? I really don't know. I just hope I can get it all straight-both in my head and on paper tonight so that it makes sense.....to me AND to my husband.  So here is my wish(on the first star tonight, since it's not my birthday):

Why does a husband taking charge, paying attention and spanking his wife soundly produce such a magical effect? I really wish there was some other way.

What has gotten in to me?

Summer is here, hooray! Time for shorts and sunbathing and bbq and margaritas on the porch. Also, time for the kids to be home ALL DAY LONG. Which, honestly, I mostly love. I enjoy hanging out with them, teaching them new things and talking about random and not-so-random things. They are a fun little group. But alas, I was spoiled during the school year and had my Husband to myself for a few hours every day, without my kiddos. So now that they are home practically 24/7, there is no real alone time for my Husband and I except after 10:30, by which time we are both pretty tired.

I can't believe I didn't realize just how easy I had it! We had plenty of time for sex, spanking, cuddle time, everything. But now we are doing our best to squeeze it in. I only get to have him 4 nights a week, as his second job takes him away the other three nights :(  So there are lots of quick half-spankings, groping in the hallways, sternly whispered lectures, and other overt signs that DD/D/s/ttwd is alive and well. And it is, really. I just suddenly find myself really wanting to challenge him!

It is so frustrating, because I know I shouldn't stick my tongue out at him, but I just get an overwhelming urge to do it, so sometimes I do. I know it's not in my best interest to refuse to answer the way he expects when he's HOLDING the paddle. But do I care? Apparently not. I am so frustrated with myself that I just don't know what to do. Why am I suddenly having such bratty impulses? Most of the time I am the mild-mannered good girl who serves her man respectfully. But sometimes, like daily, that girl goes away and the brat comes out.

Unfortunately, I think I know what will make The Brat go away(yes, I am giving that side of me a name now :) ) and that is an extra long, extra hard punishment that will leave me with no doubt as to who I am and how I am expected to behave. But.....I don't see how that is going to happen anytime soon. I would suggest alternative punishments to Ash, but he finds most of them "too childish for an adult"(his words).

Am I just being a big baby? Do I just need to suck it up and tell myself that if it sounds fun to do while Ash is around that I probably shouldn't do it? I don't know. Like I said, it only happens once or twice a day lately(although that is a lot, right?)that I have an irresistible urge to do something naughty. If anybody has any ideas, I'd love to hear them. If I am being a big spoiled weenie you should tell me that too. It's hard, sometimes to tell if you are just being self-indulgent or what.

I hope all of you out there is blogland are having a good week, and thanks for listening to me whine!

Processing Events

Today has been a truly odd day. In fact this week has just been weird. Sunday night I got some bad news, and was in a very emotional, strange head space until Monday night. I talked to my Grandmother and she prayed with me, and just basically soothed my soul. And then there was today. My family is back to normal, as my sister's children have gone back home to live with their parents. Today Ash and I had the house to ourselves for the first time in over a month! Of course he had definite ideas on what we would be doing. I haven't been napping nearly often enough lately, so now that I can, he insisted that I take a nap. Normally I don't need much persuading, but I really wasn't that tired this morning. He tucked me in anyway. I tried to sleep, I really did. I dozed in and out and had just really fallen asleep when he came to wake me up. But even though I was now tired, I was more exited to spend the day with him so I got up and made lunch, then went to take a shower. He came upstairs when I got out and ordered me over the pillows for a long-awaited "real" spanking(instead of 10 quick hard paddle smacks that had been serving as a spanking during The Time of Many Children).
  I reminded him that it had been a while since we had done this and my bottom would greatly appreciate gentler treatment in the beginning. I told him this about 5 times from Monday night until that moment. He said he would start lighter, and began to smack away. Well, they weren't full force smacks, but they sure stung like crazy. I told him it hurt too much, but he remarked that he wasn't even smacking that hard yet. So after ten or fifteen of his "lighter" smacks, he went to town, hard and fast. I was sobbing instantly, and trying(but failing) to catch my breath. Part of the problem on my end was that my face was too close to one of the pillows, keeping me from breathing properly. He spanked me like that for about 2 minutes I think, but it felt like forever. He ended with his usual extra hard smacks, and then stopped.
After about 30 seconds, he asked me why I was crying, as he always does after I get spanked. I couldn't find any words, just tears. I cried for another couple of minutes before I could calm down enough to talk to him. 
He asked why I was so upset, what was wrong? He really had no clue. I told him that my feelings were hurt because he didn't pay attention to my request, and instead overwhelmed me with pain.  I told him that I realize it's not up to me how I am spanked(which he likes to remind me of), but that I was upset that he didn't realize how panicked I was, and I just really was hurt that he didn't take the time to do a warm up after so long of no real spanking. I am never given a warm up before a punishment, but he has slowly come around to giving them for most other spankings. This time I was not in trouble, it was just to reconnect.
By this time there was not too much sting left in my bottom, and I was just so sad and a little mad. I asked him if we could just start over, and please be more gentle in the beginning this time.
 He of course had apologized a bunch by now for making me feel that way, and he said he didn't realize I was panicked and unable to breathe because I kept my face in the pillow. He even asked if I wanted to give him swats so I would feel better. I chose not to. Then he agreed to start over.
This time was a lot easier to take of course, because of the previous spanking. He actually used his hand, which he has never done before aside from smacks here and there during the day. Then he progressed to using the black paddle again, with a much more gradual build up this time, then finishing in the usual way. I was crying again, and it took most of the afternoon to be able to stop. Even now as I write this I am tearing up and I can't sort out why I am still so upset. We both failed to communicate well here, and he didn't even leave a single mark, so it's not like he was too hard on me. It must just be life again.
A couple hours later we watched a horrible foreign film called "Martyrs", which I do not recommend(unless seriously maiming people is your thing). We did watch the whole thing, as it was like a train wreck and we just had to see what carnage was down the line. But as soon as it was over we deleted it! Then we went upstairs for some cuddle time, which in our house really means he pins me down and tickles me. That was fun :)
But now I am alone for the first time in a very long time. Ash is at his 2nd job and the kids are sleeping. I think I'm going to watch a Disney movie and go to bed early to rest up, as Ash has promised to work on his warm up skills and "help" me work on my communication skills all day tomorrow!

Adjustments

So, how are things, you ask? Well, life is happening. Lots of kid's functions and extended-family drama. School's almost out, so there's lots of planning to do to keep those kiddos entertained and out of trouble! In my last post I told you that our D/s-DD dynamic was still going strong. That's still true. But I have learned some things about myself over the past couple weeks.
 I have learned that I need frequent reminders to submit to my husband, even when physical reminders aren't possible. Apparently I tend to get a little too independent when I only get spanked once every 9 days or so. Ash still smacks my butt frequently throughout the day, but there's a special, almost magical thing that happens when I am well-spanked. It seems to transform my attitude completely. I stop trying to figure things out on my own, I don't worry, I don't question him or try to get my way. For a few days after he holds me tightly and spanks away(as I cry and try my best to avoid the swats) I am gentle, peaceful, docile, obedient, happy.  I look to him for my answers, and ask for permission when I should.
I have learned that I get insecure when I think he may not be secure in his role. After many days of not experiencing his physical dominance much, I am not up for jokes about how he is willing to put up with a pile of laundry on the bed because he is just glad that he doesn't have to fold it. I don't react well when he tells me to get into position and I do it halfway and he lets it go. Little things can put me in a very vulnerable and sad place. So I had to write him a letter and explain, because to a normal person, joking about laundry does not make them question their role in a relationship. Of course he knew that he could command that I find a way to keep up on all the chores I usually do despite the extra demands on my time, I just needed to hear him say that he was being mindful of my needs and limits. We both learned while leniency may seem kind, it's not what I need.
Like all good things, our relationship is constantly evolving and growing. I consider my husband my partner, my love, my Dom, Hoh, Master. I have learned that I really get joy from serving him too, and things are so peaceful between us. Even when I accidentally create drama, he takes care of it and it's over before it starts. I feel so blessed to be married to such a man, that understands me so well, and continues to work at doing so.
Life is truly crazy and busy and messy. But how boring would it be otherwise? :)

I Screwed Up!

This is me in the morning. I really, really and truly, loathe waking up early and getting out of my warm cozy bed. 

I get up before the sun M-F to prepare breakfast 3 different times and get children to where they need to be.  It's not too difficult, they are sooo worth it, and if I could change anything at all it would be the hour I get up. But, I am very much a night owl and I am just bad company in the morning. My family knows this so they don't try to strike up conversations with me till after the sunrise :)  In the last couple of months, however, Ash decided that just because I don't want to be awake doesn't mean I can be grumpy towards everyone so he is working with me on that. He's right of course, infuriatingly so.  But that doesn't make it any easier to smile and serve as soon as I get up. 

Being the wonderful man that my husband is, sometimes he lets me take naps in the morning. The other day after getting up at normal time and making breakfast for child #1(I think she shall be called SassyPants) I found out that the schools were on a 2 hour delay. So I got to go back to bed for a couple hours while Ash got up with the younger kids. I was in a deep sleep when he came to get me up saying "Honey I need you to get up right now. I started cooking but I don't know how to finish it and it's in the pan cooking....." I was disoriented and grumpy, but I got up and went to assess the damage. 

Before I tell you what I did(I can hear the gasps of shock and the tsk tsks already!) I just want you to know that I am claiming temporary insanity on this one. 

So I found that the meal hadn't been properly prepared or cooked, but I was able to save it. I started in on him right away. "Why did you start this when you clearly don't know what you are doing?" "What did I tell you about cooking this the last time you tried?" "Next time just come get me before you kill everything" These were all phrases I uttered angrily to him in the span of 2 minutes, ending with the finale: the dreaded and forbidden "W" word. "Whatever!"

All of this over him trying to be helpful and start something for me. When I used the "W" word, he got fed up and raised his voice just the teensiest bit, and ordered me to go sit down on the couch, saying I was being ridiculous and that he didn't need this right now. I knew right then what a witch-with-a-B I had been, and I was so sorry.  On top of that, I was hurt that he raised his voice to me. He doesn't yell, but I am a sensitive girl.

I knew better than to argue(finally, my first moment of sanity all day!)so I went and curled myself into a ball in the corner of the couch. I cried. He cooked. It felt like a time-out to me, and I was now in shock over my behavior. I was appalled and so ashamed. After 10 minutes or so he came to talk to me. I don't remember exactly what he said because I was still in a morning fog and also sobbing. But I remember him telling me that disrespect will not be tolerated, that I belong to him, and that he loves me. I was still so overwhelmed that I just wanted to be alone, so he let me go take a shower while he got the kids off to school. 

When I was done and dressed he was back and we talked. I was calmer and awake now, but still very shocked and horrified by my actions and feeling very guilty. He asked if I was upset with him, or scared because he "yelled" at me.

 Shock on top of shock I tell you!

 Upset with him? I explained to him that what he did was NOT yelling, and he was justified in his actions. It did hurt my feelings, but I was way out of line and I pushed him there. We made up and tried to go about our day, but as I was unloading the dishwasher he came up to me and said "You need a whoopin' don't you?"  Gosh! What does a girl say to that? I just nodded my head. He said " Ok, but you have to choose what I use. Make the right choice or this will be much worse for you."  I was soooo not expecting this! But I was pretty sure I knew what he wanted to hear, so I chose the big wood paddle he calls "The Motivator", which I Hate.  "Good choice" he said with a big grin.  So I was quite thoroughly "motivated".  But after it was over and he hugged me, all the guilt went away and we were both happy again. We went on to have a great day together :) Lovely how that works!

Btw- I do have a follow-up planned to my last post, "Rights and Responsibilities", I am just waiting on Ash to review it :)

Lessons on Forgetting

I can't believe what a wonderful man I am married too.  It shocks and awes me sometimes to know that he understands me so well, often better than I understand myself.  This morning after I got out of the shower(I was still in my towel)my husband waited until I was in a part of our bedroom with little room to move and got out the big scary wood paddle that he calls "The Motivator" and immediately began to spank me. Not incredibly hard, but fast.  No words, just spanking. I was in tears immediately for several reasons: I had been watching a sad show that morning so my tear ducts were primed, there was no warning so I wasn't mentally prepared for a spanking, it hurt, and I wasn't sure if I had done something to upset him. It took every ounce of self-control I had to stand there and take it.
 It lasted less than a minute but I was sobbing when it was over, and he held me.  Every time I am spanked and I cry he always asks me "Why are you crying?" not because he thinks I should toughen up but as a way to check in with me and make sure I'm okay.  This time I had a hard time calming down, I think due to the suddenness of it all.  After I was intelligible again he explained that he wasn't upset with me, it was just the promised continuation of a punishment from last night.
So the backstory: Last night at bedtime I was annoyed with something he was doing, and instead of communicating with him, I just did a bunch of huffy breaths and didn't want to talk.  Well folks, that is not allowed, but I guess I forgot that last night.  We were upstairs where all the bedrooms are so he just used a plastic hanger to spank me for a minute after he lectured me(and got me to talk) because it's a really quiet implement and it stings a lot.  After we were done and I apologized we got in bed and he said "You're lucky it was so late and the motivator was so loud. How's your butt?"  I told him it was fine, just a little warm, and he said "Well then maybe I'll just use it tomorrow."  I told him I hoped he would forget, then we went to bed.
Back to the present: So after my spanking this morning, he looked at me and told me "I just wanted you to know that I won't forget you," then hugged me.  It took me a good couple of minutes or so afterward to have those feelings of thankfulness bloom inside my heart, but bloom they did, as big as a dahlia.  As much as I hated that spanking, I appreciate that he did it, and why.  I am one lucky girl :)

I have a confession to make.......

I have recently been working hard at effective communication with my husband about topics that fluster and embarrass me.  Today, it is taking the form of a "Let's pretend, and this is what I imagine" type letter to him.  I can imagine what his response will be :)


Dear Sir,

I have a confession to make:  I have been feeling a little mischievous and I’ve been very tempted to be disobedient these past few days! I don’t like feeling this way, but I don’t act on these feelings because I don’t want you to be disappointed in me. I don’t want to do anything too bad….I just want you to be angry or frustrated enough with me  that you really want to teach me a lesson not to mess with the boss.  Last night was very nice and I did enjoy my time with you, especially after you were done whipping me and let me “thank” you properly on my knees.  But….I am still feeling like being a bit wicked! So let’s pretend that I really did drop your phone in the bath…..which I took while you weren’t home!  When you asked me where your phone was and I told you what happened, would you make me take my pants off and stand in front of you in just my panties and t-shirt while you lectured me about following the rules?  Would you tell me I was a very naughty girl? Would you make me ask you nicely for my spanking before pulling me down over your lap on the bed? I would say “Please spank me hard, Sir” even though I didn’t want you to because I would know I deserved it. And even though I don’t want to be punished I would only beg a couple of times “Please don’t spank me, I’ll be good!”  But I’m sure you wouldn’t listen to me because you know that if you don’t thoroughly assert yourself when I misbehave that I will think you don’t care about me anymore.  And you really do love me, so you would make up your mind to show me just how much! I would squirm over your lap a little bit I’m sure, as I heard you open the paddle drawer to choose an implement.  I would be praying that it’s not the motivator!  Since you would be spanking me because I was bad, I just know you would spank hard right from the start! You would probably ignore my desperate pleas and tell me to hold still and take my spanking since I earned it.  Would you put your leg over mine to stop my kicking from ruining your aim? Would I try to wiggle away, only to discover that I can’t move and I am completely at your mercy?  I think I would feel helpless then and remember that you really are the boss, as you light a fire in my bottom cheeks!  Would you pull my panties down then to make sure I could feel every hard, fast smack?  I know you would keep going until my ass was bright red all over and I was crying hard, because that’s how to make sure naughty wives remember to behave.  You would probably stop then and ask me if I was going to be good.  Of course I would answer “Yes, Sir” because I don’t want to be spanked anymore!  But you wouldn’t really care about what I want right then, just about what I need.  And I bet you’d think I need a little more “convincing” to really be good and not end up in trouble again anytime soon.  So you would decide to keep going, slower but very hard, while you remind me why I’m in trouble.  I bet you’d say “Do NOT take a bath unless I am home!” and “You should have been paying attention to the phone so it wouldn’t drop!” in between smacks. Then, once you were convinced that I was one very sorry girl, you would let me up and hold me.  You would tell me that it’s ok now and that I am your good girl again.  And I would know that you speak the truth: the punishment you selflessly administered has magically transformed me into an angel, and I know I wouldn’t feel the urge to be a brat for quite a while! 

Communication.....It's hard!

Oh, the expressing of personal, private and confusing feelings to a rational-thinking man! Last night it was announced that I would be spanked today.  Not for anything in particular, but just because it has been a while.  Before Thanksgiving I was getting spanked (usually to tears) at least every other day for reasons various and sundry.  However, after the very long holiday breaks with our kids at home, like 31 extra days off between November and January, we totally fell out of the habit of spanking.  I still always get swats, sometimes really hard ones, throughout the day just because he likes to smack my butt :)  But even though I am pretty well-behaved, I do feel that I personally and our relationship generally both really benefit from my husband tanning my hide occasionally.
  I was trying to explain this to my husband this morning after he had spanked me moderately for just a few minutes.....then said we were done. Just enough to make me wiggle and get mad at him.  I didn't mean to,

A Public Spanking......Almost?

Today I had to go to my least favorite shopping venue in the whole world: Walmart.  Ash (my husband) had to come with me so he could pick up some manly stuff I wouldn't have found even though he hates shopping.  I really cannot tell you how much I hate this place.  People are rude and it smells like old fried food in there, plus I don't like crowds to begin with.  So Ash was pushing the cart as I walked slightly behind him (he's fast!) and texting someone so he kept stopping and I thought it was obnoxious. Of course I'm such an angel that I didn't tell him that, I just offered to to push the cart in, um, maybe not my sweetest tone.  He declined and we continued.  I continued to gripe throughout our trip and apparently he had had enough by the time we were done checking out because he asked me quite loudly as we were walking away from the checkstand "Do you need a spanking right now? Should I turn you over my knee right here? We could get them to do the announcement, you know: Ding ding, beat your wife!" Of course I insisted that I did not need any such intervention, trying my hardest not to blush to my roots and failing.  I was too embarrassed to look around to see if people were staring, so I just ducked my head and kept walking with him.  I didn't think he would truly do such a thing, as we have discussed it before and he said he wouldn't out in the open.  But sometimes he throws me for a loop.  He says he likes to keep me on my toes.  I didn't get spanked when we got home either as I was exhausted from throwing mini tantrums shopping and our children were due to arrive shortly.  Not that I am complaining! My booty hasn't had a very good "workout" in almost a month due to kids on vacation, and I am apprehensive about the first real spanking I will get since they're back at school. I have been given shorter ones or a quick hard paddling with the big scary paddle, but not much else.  Personally I don't think I should be blamed for my behavior today.  I did try some of the time to be good :)  I guess we'll see what Ash has to say when he comes home tonight.  Wish me luck!

A Letter to my Husband--Warning!! Sexual Content

 

I recently sent my husband this email after asking him a question and getting an answer I didn't expect.  I like to check in with him periodically to see if he would appreciate any changes or additions to our sex life.  He said he would like a day to compose his answer, and I am patiently awaiting his response.

Honey I have some questions for you.  Sexually speaking I think I may be confused about what exactly turns you on.  As people, we are constantly evolving and changing and this is good, but I want to make sure we stay on the same page.  When I asked you today if you ever felt like telling me to get on my knees, calling me your slut, and fucking my mouth and you said no, it was confusing to me because you have done that before.  I enjoyed it, and you seemed to at the time as well.  So I guess I just want to discuss with you what you currently enjoy (obviously not that :) )  and what I currently enjoy.  I'll start with me, since I already know what I like.  As with everything in life, my wants and needs go through phases.  Right now, what turns me on the most is knowing that I am pleasing you and knowing that if I don't please you I will be punished (I know this is not reality, just a fantasy in my head as of now, but I enjoy thinking about it) in whatever way you choose. I also love sucking your cock and licking your balls. I love when I can do anything to give you pleasure. I just wish I knew more ways to do that.  I really enjoy being physically AND mentally dominated by you. 

Spanking a cold Bum

My husband took me shopping yesterday, for groceries, in 11 degree weather.  I'm so glad that he came because I got to sit in the car all toasty while he loaded up and put the cart away, woo-hoo!
When we got home I did help carry our stuff in, as it did require 3 trips from each of us to get it all in.  Now, you may not know this, but my husband is a booty smacker.  It's one of the things I love about him.  When we began dating and were getting close, discussing our expectations for a partner, I remember telling him: "I am all for chivalry and romance and equality, but I also want a man who's not afraid to smack my ass and tell me to get him another beer!" I was young, and it was as eloquent as I could be at the time :)  but he understood.  He took that as the green light to smack my bottom whenever he wanted, which I didn't protest, as we hadn't had the "spanking talk" yet, and I wasn't sure I wanted to at that point.  So, while I am spanked frequently, I also get a few swats here and there throughout the day just because he wants to and he can. But enough back-story,  back to the point .  After we got all the bags in Ash came up to me, turned me around, and began smacking my butt with his hand.  I jumped at squealed after the first few, as it hurt a lot more than a smack from a hand would. He got a mischievous twinkle in his eye then and asked "Oh, poor baby, does it hurt?"  To which I replied, "Yes! My ass is freezing from being out shopping and it hurts much more right now!"   He made a pouty face at me, then he smiled and I was told to bend over the couch! I tried to get out of it by telling him that I really needed to put the groceries away, but of course he said that could wait.  So I obeyed, pleading with him to use only his hand.  Thank goodness he listened, because he made me pull my pants and panties down and proceeded to smack away for at least a couple minutes. I didn't cry like usual, but I sure yelped and wriggled at lot! That seemed to satisfy him though :)  I think that I must forget every year that a cold bottom hurts more when spanked, because I never remember until he does it! I'd better be good now, though, as he's promised to make me sit in the snow bare-assed for a minute first if he has to punish me this month.  I told him that would never happen cause I am such an angel, but I don't think he believed me (the nerve!). 

Come on honey, you know you want to turn it pink!

Implements: do you have any that you either prefer or can't stand?  What's the strangest thing you've been spanked with? Either point of view(ladies or gents) welcome.  My husband is a creative guy when it comes to whacking my butt. I've been spanked with a hanger, an un-braided leather belt, a small fry pan, a metal spoon, a yardstick, a dowel rod, and a long extension piece of my vacuum!

My personal favorite right now is the black leather belt that my husband fashioned into a spanking strap just for me :x It has just the right combination of bite and thud, and pretty easy to deal with for a couple of minutes. 

 I also hate like the new large wooden spatula that I brought home as a present for him recently (if he uses it moderately--not when he goes hard and fast!).  It's about palm-sized and heavy for a kitchen item.  If I had know just how stingy this thing is I may not have purchased it :)  

My least favorite is the big scary wood paddle. It's about an inch thick, yikes! It is mainly used for the "short sharp shock" type of spanking, or to make a point at the end of one. And boy does it! I avoid this thing like the plague.  It's strange, but it makes my cheeks feel numb and bee-stung at the same time

We also have a black plastic paddle.  It was our very first implement.  My husband took me to a store one town over that sold exclusively lingerie and sex toys/accessories.  After he helped me pick out the paddle, he made me be the one to bring it up and hand it to the young male clerk so he could pay for it! I think that may have been the most embarrassing thing I ever had to do :"> I blush easily and I'm sure I was lobster colored until we got home.

That about sums up our "collection".  He used to use a hairbrush too but recently broke that one one me. Lately Ash has told me that he wants a bigger paddle with holes for when I am particularly snapish or attitudey (his words, not mine!) I would really prefer that we don't get one.  However, I have a feeling that it, or something else sinister is going to find its way to me soon because today he had me sit on his lap and asked if I was naughty or nice.  I couldn't help but tell him how 'naughty' I've been, and he said "What should a naughty girl get in her Christmas stocking?"  I answered with, "A lump of coal!"  He just shook his head and grinned (quite evilly if you ask me!). I was kidding of course but I got the distinct impression that he wasn't. 

A Spanking Every Hour

Update to: One Happy Woman......For Now!
Well, it is official. I am well-spanked!  Getting spanked every hour, on the hour from 9 am to 3 pm, and then again before bed at 10, didn't sound so bad when my husband Ash proposed the idea two days ago.  In fact, I was kind of excited.  I love to feel his power over me, even if I don't love the temporary pain.  The knowledge that I would be getting "taken in hand" so regularly revved my engine! Also, the spankings he gives me really help my overall pain levels, and I HATE having to ask him outright to spank me because it makes me feel like a naughty little girl confessing a misdeed and asking for her sentence to be handed down! That couldn't have anything to do with the delighted and devilish smirk he gets when I ask, could it?
 So I thought his idea was a good one and I was relieved to not have the embarrassment of asking for one day.  However, I didn't take into account the fact that he had given me a pretty rough belt whipping (at my request) the day he thought of this plan (Wednesday).  Luckily he didn't implement the hourly spankings until Thursday, but the areas that bruised and swelled from the belt were just as bad Thursday as they were the day I got them.
For my first spanking of the day at 9, I asked if we could speak about the state of my bottom before he began, and he said yes, but I had to get into position first! Smart man, too, because I definitely remember not to be sassy when I'm bent over for him.  I pointed out the areas I was concerned about, and he said, "Well, I guess your thighs are going to get it a lot today then."  So not what I was trying to say! True to his word, he did focus much of his loving attention on the very under-swell of my backside and the tops of my thighs, throughout the day's "activities". I was spanked with his hand, the big belt, the black plastic paddle, and  the back scratcher throughout the day, and a plastic dowel before bed.  Thankfully he didn't use the super scary big wood paddle at all.  That one always bruises and hurts quite badly. So this morning I am a vibrant mix of purple and blue blotches in the back, but I'm not too sore. Interestingly, Ash(who NEVER give a warm-up!) did do a warm-up session before each spanking in consideration of the state my bottom was already in.  While it helped me to be able to better tolerate each session, I'm not sure it helped prevent any more bruising.  In the end (no pun intended!) I consider the experiment a success.  I got a lot of attention, and Ash's arm and shoulder got a workout. We had fun, but I think I'll stick to my once or twice a day from now on. 

This is not my own backside, but the marks are similar to what I'm rockin' now!

One Happy Woman...For Now!!!!

Today I told my husband, who is not a natural "spanko" that I would probably always need more spanking than would naturally cross his mind.  I told him this because I thought he was getting bored with me.  I usually get spanked at least once a day, sometimes thoroughly and other times not so thoroughly.  This helps me in ways I can't really explain, but it reduces my overall physical pain level greatly.  He knows this and is always willing to help, but I want him to enjoy himself too! His response was, "Ok, for the next several days I will spank you every hour.  Every two minutes seems excessive, but every hour sounds good!"  Oh, what have I gotten myself into?  I will let you know how it goes if I can sit to type any time soon :)

Just another spanking meme.....

There is a part for the spanker and the spankee, so if you want to participate pick which one fits you and if you wish, ask your other half to answer their part!  It could be a good tool for couples to see if they're on the same page....... at the least, it could be entertaining.  In the interest of simplicity, I am assuming that the spanker is male and the spankee is female.  I know that this is not always the case, and no offense meant! Feel free to use/repost and change it to meet your needs :)  My husband and I filled these out separately and were a bit surprised at times by the others answers.  He is obviously a man of action, not words! Lol

For The Spanker:

What is your favorite position to have your naughty girl in when you spank her?
 bent over 

What do you prefer to spank her with?
my work belt 

Is there a ritual you use before, during or after a spanking? If yes, what is it and why is it important?
tell my wife that this is good for her and I rub her back after I'm done 

Are there other punishments you use and what are they?
none 

Do you have a set list of rules for your woman or are there just general guidelines?
just do what she's told to do

What is your main reason for having a spanking relationship?
To have her know who is boss and to help her with pain 

Is spanking ever sexual?  If not, is there ever incidental arousal on your part?
It is starting to get me more and more excited 

Would you ever spank her in public if she needed it?
No 

What do you think about her moving, making noise or crying out loud while you are spanking her? How does is make you feel and how does it affect how hard/long you spank?
It makes me laugh sometimes and gets me aroused when she starts to wiggle around  with her ass naked 

Have you/would you ever tell someone (not on the internet!) about this part of your relationship?
No 

 
For The Spankee:

What is your favorite position to be spanked in?
Over his lap

What do you prefer to be spanked with?
His hand, wooden spoon, or occasionally something thin and whippy

Does your HOH use rituals when he spanks you? How does it make you feel?
He usually makes me pull my pants down and get into position.  Sometimes I have to fetch the implement, and I always have to say thank you, but I am grateful so I don't mind.  I like the rituals and feel that they add to the atmosphere.

What other punishments/restrictions have been imposed on you?  Do you prefer those or spanking?
I have been sent to bed early,  I have a set bedtime during the week, a couple of times (years ago) I have had to sit naked in a chair in front of an open door in the winter time.  I prefer a spanking most of the time, but other punishments are effective too.

Do you have rules or guidelines, and if so, which are hardest for you to follow?
Just generally obey him and don't do things I know he doesn't want me to to.  I only have a hard time obeying when I really really want to do something but he doesn't want me to.

What is your motivation to be in a spanking relationship?
I have craved this kind of relationship for forever, and am naturally submissive only to my husband.  I do it for our mutual happiness. 

Is spanking ever sexual for you?  Even if it's not, does your body ever respond with arousal to a spanking?
Yes, there is always an element of sex for me, even if it's purely punishment.  I love the D/s flavor of my marriage and anytime my husband takes control of me it turns me on a little :) 

Would you ever act out/challenge your man in public? If so, what do you hope his response would be?
I have before, but never on purpose.  Actually, this week while out shopping he threatened to take me to the kitchen-ware section and find a spatula to smack me with if I didn't stop being sassy.  I said "You wouldn't spank me here!?!" in a whisper, but the look he gave me made me unsure and I was very polite after that.  I think he might've given me a swat or two, actually.  A great fantasy but I think it would be highly embarrassing to experience. 

Do you ever move, make noise or cry out loud while you are being spanked? Do you feel like it makes a difference in how long/hard you are spanked?
I always do my best not to move much, though I sometimes have a hard time.  I also do my best to limit the noise I make, as I would never want someone besides my husband to hear me! I do think that when I am genuinely crying it makes my man want to stop, although for me to really get an emotional release I need a few minutes longer at least. 

Have you/would you ever tell someone (not on the internet!) about this part of your relationship?
I kind of did once, on accident.  I went with a friend to the swimming pool and I wore shorts over my bathing suit.  She asked why, and I said that I had gotten into trouble, but didn't elaborate and she didn't ask questions after that. 

How I Feel About Spanking......In Photos

BEFORE

Apprehensive, nervous, scared, sometimes defiant

DURING

Sorry, helpless,self-pity, sad

AFTER

Loved, calm, happy, submissive

Why do I Want to Bite my Husband When he Spanks me?

I wonder if I am alone in this feeling?  In the big picture, I want my husband to spank me anytime he feels it would benefit me/him/us.  But as soon as I know I will be getting a spanking soon, I get nervous.  I hesitate when he calls me over, I pull my pants down when asked but then try to tug my shirt lower.  It takes forever for me to get into position, hoping to delay the process, but I get hurried along with swats anyway.  As my butt is being rained upon by a fiery brush that must have come from hell, all I can think about is how much it hurts and try to stay in position.  If I am spanked long enough, usually a few minutes after I start really crying, I turn into an obedient angel ready and willing to please my husband.  However, if he stops short of that, I come up trying desperately not to utter the words waiting to spring forth from my tongue. Words like bigmeaniestupidheadIdon'tlikeyourightnow! and goawaythathurtyoua-hole!  Words that needless to say(but I'm still saying it!), are generally not well received.  This is what happened today. I am sitting on a freshly spanked backside at the moment and have been ordered asked by my husband to write about my feelings and view of the experience. So, in mostly non-fiction format, here is how I experienced my spanking:

"Okay, it's time.  Go fetch the brush," Ash said, looking at his beautiful wife of 10 years.  "Already? How come I have to go get it?" she replied feeling embarrassed that she had to do this, not quite whining but close.  "Because I have the power, and I order you to get it," he told her, daring her with a stern look to push the issue.  He knew that the real answer was that it was a sign of his dominance and her submission, and it helped put her in the right mindset to be disciplined, but he waited for her to comply without further explanation. "Fine, but I have to use the bathroom first," she said, reluctantly getting up from her perch on the sofa and heading to the bathroom.  Once inside, she prepared for her impending fate by using the facilities, brushing her hair, pulling all the hair out of the brush that was there from before and examining different items on the counter before she was rudely interrupted by a knock and a "Hurry up in there!" from the bossy gentleman outside the door.  Time to face the music.  She opened the door and handed the instrument of her doom to the man that was about to demonstrate his love for her in a very unconventional way.
She went to her usual spot over the back of the couch when she heard "Pants down, young lady."

If a Woman Needs it, Should she be Spanked?

Notice how no one said no? I would have liked to hear the answers from the ladies of that day too!

My first "preemptive" spanking

The above picture is exactly how I was feeling when my husband told me to bend over the bed today.  I had just showered and was looking for clothes to wear while simultaneously picking up upstairs and doing laundry.  He had asked me what I was doing, and when I told him, his response was "Get on the bed, head down ass up."  "What?!" I asked,"I was just cleaning, and I wasn't trying to give you attitude!"  He never changes his mind once he thinks I need to be spanked, so I complied even though I thought it was totally unfair.  I heard him open the side table drawer, then some rummaging around.  Then, the first strike of the big wood paddle.  Frickin' ouch! That paddle is not my favorite, as it is almost an inch thick by 8 inches wide and 9 inches long, and it bruises almost every time he uses it.  I was in tears after the 5th or 6th swat.  It did hurt a lot, but I mostly cried because I felt like he was being unfair.  I didn't realize at the time that the