Life and Bruises

Man, life is sure happening.  This time of year is when we settle into new routines and enjoy earlier bedtimes.  There is  a definite chill in the air where I live, leaves are turning gorgeous colors, gardens are being harvested one last time.  Best of all, my husband has changed his schedule at work so that he's available more often....sometimes even when the kids are in school!  It's been great to hang out with him more, and he's definitely taken the opportunity to tease, torment, and satisfy me more often :) 

I don't know if this is normal or not, but usually beyond getting red, my bottom no longer marks, so we haven't seen bruises on me in quite a while.  But a few days ago, Ash decided to switch things up and made me spread my legs as I bent over the back of our big chair, so he could reach the inside of my cheeks, and thoroughly worked me over with the horrible holey plastic spoon.  He kept stopping to have me service him though, so I got mini breaks and didn't realize just how bad it had gotten back there.  I was sore for sure, even had to play on the tablet on my tummy, which I don't usually need to do.  But it didn't occur to me to look at the damage until the following day when I was exiting the shower(and then only cause it was still so tender!).  I was really surprised to find several tiny bruises on one side and a lemon-sized purple splotch on the other. Unfortunately, I think that area will soon be a bruise-free zone too like the rest of my bottom. It kind of sucks not having marks show up anymore, because when all that's left is a slight redness after a few hours, he might think he didn't do a good enough job!

I keep thinking of things I would like to post about, but only having internet access two days a week is cramping my style in that department, plus I'm super busy.  Managing the day to day kid stuff, serving my husband full time, and cooking all our food from scratch is about all I am up to right now anyway, so unfortunately all I have right now is mundane updates. I am still  slowly working on my novel, only about an hour a day, so I probably won't be finished for a year at this rate.  But the next time I post I should be in a place where I can include an interesting, if not spicy, excerpt.

Until then, I leave you with this loving image  :)

I popped

Well, despite the great advice given to me and a little effort on my part, I still have not been properly spanked since the first week of June. There were a few mini-punishments, lots of smacks here and there, including a very public handful of hard smacks at the grocery store, and many more in the kitchen where we have 2 drawers plus a canister full of potential implements stashed away. I actually have been really well behaved, aside from a few little things. I have spoken to him with a less than pleasant tone at times, stuck my tongue out once or twice, forgotten a chore once.  Those were all dealt with quickly and were over, no big deal.  So in my husband's mind (I am pretty much guessing here, aside from a few times of him telling me what a good girl I have been) there is no real reason to spank. We have discussed the lack of span I still call him Sir, I serve him and I obey him gladly most of the time. We sit together each night and I get to snuggle under his arm, he still makes me go to bed each night when he says I am tired enough, whether I want to or not(darn him for reading me so well in that department!) and kisses me goodnight. I am submissive to him.  But.........over the last month my attitude and outlook have changed a little bit. Where  before I was eager to serve him every time, now sometimes it's a chore. Where I used to obey with a genuine smile, now I sometimes fake one. I don't feel as close and connected to him, and I am guilty of a gradual "un-softening" of my heart. Something's been missing and I have been clueless as to how to put it into words, but here is a picture. (By the way, I do know that what I have with him is more than some people could dream of and that I am spoiled. But please don't take offense, I am just trying to process.)

I have also been confused as to his expectations of me in certain ways. For example, he always tells me that he wants me to be myself, that he likes how I tell him what I think and that I play around. But sometimes I get in trouble for those same things. Not as much lately, but today.....I was in the kitchen and we had been chatting back and forth playfully. I said something VERY mildly insulting to him, joking as we had been all morning. He didn't find it as funny as I did and gave me a very solid whack with a heavy spoon that has holes in it(while I futilely attempted to explain what I said).  That was when the past month's worth of not enough attention and decreasing connection came to a head and I popped. I melted down into immediate tears and couldn't form a coherent word, so I excused myself to my room. Ash followed me, horrified. Apparently he had meant to deliver a playful swat, not leave a big purple bruise with one swat and emotionally overwhelm me. He apologized profusely and I assured him that I was "fine", and asked for time alone, which he gave me. I sobbed and did chores trying to process what I was feeling and understand why on earth I was so upset. About an hour later Ash came to check on me and patiently but persistently prodded me to talk to him. When it took me ten minutes to share with him that I was confused and hurt and felt that I was no longer his priority, and I still couldn't tell him why.....that 's when I knew that I had been building walls around my heart this whole time. I knew what I needed, but I was too upset and embarrassed to explain it. It makes me feel so inferior as a woman sometimes that I need his instructive and disciplinary influence on me to be really happy in our marriage.  And emotionally, I was feeling just like I did the first time I had to explain to him that I wanted him to discipline me. So I didn't go there. And I tried so hard to calm down for him, I really did. But I remain on the verge of tears even now, hours later, and I suspect many more will be shed before I am done writing to/for him.  Why is it so hard to understand my feelings? They're mine, after all. Am I just emotionally stupid? Do I not pay enough attention to life? I really don't know. I just hope I can get it all straight-both in my head and on paper tonight so that it makes sense.....to me AND to my husband.  So here is my wish(on the first star tonight, since it's not my birthday):

Why does a husband taking charge, paying attention and spanking his wife soundly produce such a magical effect? I really wish there was some other way.

What has gotten in to me?

Summer is here, hooray! Time for shorts and sunbathing and bbq and margaritas on the porch. Also, time for the kids to be home ALL DAY LONG. Which, honestly, I mostly love. I enjoy hanging out with them, teaching them new things and talking about random and not-so-random things. They are a fun little group. But alas, I was spoiled during the school year and had my Husband to myself for a few hours every day, without my kiddos. So now that they are home practically 24/7, there is no real alone time for my Husband and I except after 10:30, by which time we are both pretty tired.

I can't believe I didn't realize just how easy I had it! We had plenty of time for sex, spanking, cuddle time, everything. But now we are doing our best to squeeze it in. I only get to have him 4 nights a week, as his second job takes him away the other three nights :(  So there are lots of quick half-spankings, groping in the hallways, sternly whispered lectures, and other overt signs that DD/D/s/ttwd is alive and well. And it is, really. I just suddenly find myself really wanting to challenge him!

It is so frustrating, because I know I shouldn't stick my tongue out at him, but I just get an overwhelming urge to do it, so sometimes I do. I know it's not in my best interest to refuse to answer the way he expects when he's HOLDING the paddle. But do I care? Apparently not. I am so frustrated with myself that I just don't know what to do. Why am I suddenly having such bratty impulses? Most of the time I am the mild-mannered good girl who serves her man respectfully. But sometimes, like daily, that girl goes away and the brat comes out.

Unfortunately, I think I know what will make The Brat go away(yes, I am giving that side of me a name now :) ) and that is an extra long, extra hard punishment that will leave me with no doubt as to who I am and how I am expected to behave. But.....I don't see how that is going to happen anytime soon. I would suggest alternative punishments to Ash, but he finds most of them "too childish for an adult"(his words).

Am I just being a big baby? Do I just need to suck it up and tell myself that if it sounds fun to do while Ash is around that I probably shouldn't do it? I don't know. Like I said, it only happens once or twice a day lately(although that is a lot, right?)that I have an irresistible urge to do something naughty. If anybody has any ideas, I'd love to hear them. If I am being a big spoiled weenie you should tell me that too. It's hard, sometimes to tell if you are just being self-indulgent or what.

I hope all of you out there is blogland are having a good week, and thanks for listening to me whine!

Processing Events

Today has been a truly odd day. In fact this week has just been weird. Sunday night I got some bad news, and was in a very emotional, strange head space until Monday night. I talked to my Grandmother and she prayed with me, and just basically soothed my soul. And then there was today. My family is back to normal, as my sister's children have gone back home to live with their parents. Today Ash and I had the house to ourselves for the first time in over a month! Of course he had definite ideas on what we would be doing. I haven't been napping nearly often enough lately, so now that I can, he insisted that I take a nap. Normally I don't need much persuading, but I really wasn't that tired this morning. He tucked me in anyway. I tried to sleep, I really did. I dozed in and out and had just really fallen asleep when he came to wake me up. But even though I was now tired, I was more exited to spend the day with him so I got up and made lunch, then went to take a shower. He came upstairs when I got out and ordered me over the pillows for a long-awaited "real" spanking(instead of 10 quick hard paddle smacks that had been serving as a spanking during The Time of Many Children).
  I reminded him that it had been a while since we had done this and my bottom would greatly appreciate gentler treatment in the beginning. I told him this about 5 times from Monday night until that moment. He said he would start lighter, and began to smack away. Well, they weren't full force smacks, but they sure stung like crazy. I told him it hurt too much, but he remarked that he wasn't even smacking that hard yet. So after ten or fifteen of his "lighter" smacks, he went to town, hard and fast. I was sobbing instantly, and trying(but failing) to catch my breath. Part of the problem on my end was that my face was too close to one of the pillows, keeping me from breathing properly. He spanked me like that for about 2 minutes I think, but it felt like forever. He ended with his usual extra hard smacks, and then stopped.
After about 30 seconds, he asked me why I was crying, as he always does after I get spanked. I couldn't find any words, just tears. I cried for another couple of minutes before I could calm down enough to talk to him. 
He asked why I was so upset, what was wrong? He really had no clue. I told him that my feelings were hurt because he didn't pay attention to my request, and instead overwhelmed me with pain.  I told him that I realize it's not up to me how I am spanked(which he likes to remind me of), but that I was upset that he didn't realize how panicked I was, and I just really was hurt that he didn't take the time to do a warm up after so long of no real spanking. I am never given a warm up before a punishment, but he has slowly come around to giving them for most other spankings. This time I was not in trouble, it was just to reconnect.
By this time there was not too much sting left in my bottom, and I was just so sad and a little mad. I asked him if we could just start over, and please be more gentle in the beginning this time.
 He of course had apologized a bunch by now for making me feel that way, and he said he didn't realize I was panicked and unable to breathe because I kept my face in the pillow. He even asked if I wanted to give him swats so I would feel better. I chose not to. Then he agreed to start over.
This time was a lot easier to take of course, because of the previous spanking. He actually used his hand, which he has never done before aside from smacks here and there during the day. Then he progressed to using the black paddle again, with a much more gradual build up this time, then finishing in the usual way. I was crying again, and it took most of the afternoon to be able to stop. Even now as I write this I am tearing up and I can't sort out why I am still so upset. We both failed to communicate well here, and he didn't even leave a single mark, so it's not like he was too hard on me. It must just be life again.
A couple hours later we watched a horrible foreign film called "Martyrs", which I do not recommend(unless seriously maiming people is your thing). We did watch the whole thing, as it was like a train wreck and we just had to see what carnage was down the line. But as soon as it was over we deleted it! Then we went upstairs for some cuddle time, which in our house really means he pins me down and tickles me. That was fun :)
But now I am alone for the first time in a very long time. Ash is at his 2nd job and the kids are sleeping. I think I'm going to watch a Disney movie and go to bed early to rest up, as Ash has promised to work on his warm up skills and "help" me work on my communication skills all day tomorrow!

Adjustments

So, how are things, you ask? Well, life is happening. Lots of kid's functions and extended-family drama. School's almost out, so there's lots of planning to do to keep those kiddos entertained and out of trouble! In my last post I told you that our D/s-DD dynamic was still going strong. That's still true. But I have learned some things about myself over the past couple weeks.
 I have learned that I need frequent reminders to submit to my husband, even when physical reminders aren't possible. Apparently I tend to get a little too independent when I only get spanked once every 9 days or so. Ash still smacks my butt frequently throughout the day, but there's a special, almost magical thing that happens when I am well-spanked. It seems to transform my attitude completely. I stop trying to figure things out on my own, I don't worry, I don't question him or try to get my way. For a few days after he holds me tightly and spanks away(as I cry and try my best to avoid the swats) I am gentle, peaceful, docile, obedient, happy.  I look to him for my answers, and ask for permission when I should.
I have learned that I get insecure when I think he may not be secure in his role. After many days of not experiencing his physical dominance much, I am not up for jokes about how he is willing to put up with a pile of laundry on the bed because he is just glad that he doesn't have to fold it. I don't react well when he tells me to get into position and I do it halfway and he lets it go. Little things can put me in a very vulnerable and sad place. So I had to write him a letter and explain, because to a normal person, joking about laundry does not make them question their role in a relationship. Of course he knew that he could command that I find a way to keep up on all the chores I usually do despite the extra demands on my time, I just needed to hear him say that he was being mindful of my needs and limits. We both learned while leniency may seem kind, it's not what I need.
Like all good things, our relationship is constantly evolving and growing. I consider my husband my partner, my love, my Dom, Hoh, Master. I have learned that I really get joy from serving him too, and things are so peaceful between us. Even when I accidentally create drama, he takes care of it and it's over before it starts. I feel so blessed to be married to such a man, that understands me so well, and continues to work at doing so.
Life is truly crazy and busy and messy. But how boring would it be otherwise? :)

Rights and Responsibilities

Hi there fellow bloggers, readers and lurkers! Due to my own recent personal growth and questioning myself, I have decided to look into whether two partners involved in ttwd have inherent rights and responsibilities that come with their roles. Now to me, ttwd encompasses all of the various labels we give ourselves. Whether it's DD, CDD, D/s, Hoh/tih, whatever you call it- if it involves power exchange that's what I am interested in.  The reason for my interest is that I think the version of ttwd in my head is invariably different than what's in my husband's head. For example, I believe he has the right to be spoken to and treated with, respect (from me) at all times. I believe that he has the responsibility to help make me aware of instances where I fail to do so and take whatever steps he deems necessary to ensure that I remember to be respectful in the future. We have never had a frank discussion about this exact topic, it's just kind of implied, so I don't really know what he thinks about that. This is just one example out of many, and I know that every person will have different ideas, even some that will conflict with how I see things. That's ok! That's a good thing! Diversity among us is essential, otherwise we would bore each other to tears :)
I would like to ask that if anyone who reads this has any personal input to give, as to what their relationship looks like in terms of the rights and responsibilities of each partner, please leave a comment with as much information as you are comfortable. I am in the process of making a worksheet of sorts that lists potential rights and responsibilities of two partners, so that I can go through and check the box for things that are important to me. I will also give my husband Ash a copy and have him mark whether an item(in his opinion) is essential, not essential, or don't care. I think it could be such a useful tool to have! But upon looking around online, all I have found are bdsm contracts that list specific activities such as breath play or figging, which is fine if I want to know what activities my husband likes.  But what I am looking for is deeper.  I have a feeling many of you will understand :)
So as I work on my list, I would love it if you guys would take a minute and talk about what this type of list would look like for you.  If you are a sub, tih, disciplined wife, etc, what do you feel you rights are? What about responsibilities to your partner and to the relationship? What about Hohs, Doms, and strict husbands? How do you feel about your rights and responsibilities towards your partner and to the relationship itself? Ladies, don't be afraid to ask your partner to chime in! Also, if I am a complete dweeb and there is a list somewhere on the internet that I totally missed, feel free to send me a link. I look forward to what each of you has to say about this :)

Lessons on Forgetting

I can't believe what a wonderful man I am married too.  It shocks and awes me sometimes to know that he understands me so well, often better than I understand myself.  This morning after I got out of the shower(I was still in my towel)my husband waited until I was in a part of our bedroom with little room to move and got out the big scary wood paddle that he calls "The Motivator" and immediately began to spank me. Not incredibly hard, but fast.  No words, just spanking. I was in tears immediately for several reasons: I had been watching a sad show that morning so my tear ducts were primed, there was no warning so I wasn't mentally prepared for a spanking, it hurt, and I wasn't sure if I had done something to upset him. It took every ounce of self-control I had to stand there and take it.
 It lasted less than a minute but I was sobbing when it was over, and he held me.  Every time I am spanked and I cry he always asks me "Why are you crying?" not because he thinks I should toughen up but as a way to check in with me and make sure I'm okay.  This time I had a hard time calming down, I think due to the suddenness of it all.  After I was intelligible again he explained that he wasn't upset with me, it was just the promised continuation of a punishment from last night.
So the backstory: Last night at bedtime I was annoyed with something he was doing, and instead of communicating with him, I just did a bunch of huffy breaths and didn't want to talk.  Well folks, that is not allowed, but I guess I forgot that last night.  We were upstairs where all the bedrooms are so he just used a plastic hanger to spank me for a minute after he lectured me(and got me to talk) because it's a really quiet implement and it stings a lot.  After we were done and I apologized we got in bed and he said "You're lucky it was so late and the motivator was so loud. How's your butt?"  I told him it was fine, just a little warm, and he said "Well then maybe I'll just use it tomorrow."  I told him I hoped he would forget, then we went to bed.
Back to the present: So after my spanking this morning, he looked at me and told me "I just wanted you to know that I won't forget you," then hugged me.  It took me a good couple of minutes or so afterward to have those feelings of thankfulness bloom inside my heart, but bloom they did, as big as a dahlia.  As much as I hated that spanking, I appreciate that he did it, and why.  I am one lucky girl :)

Last Night's Flogging.....Homemade!

About a month ago I decided to make a new weapon for my husband's arsenal.  We had been struggling to find a quiet way for him to spank me when I decided to make him a flogger out of paracord.  I had read that they were quiet and moderately stingy so I went to Home Depot and bought the rope, then set to making it as soon as I got home.  I didn't follow anyone's directions, just kind of winged it (I do that a lot, with everything!) but it turned out just like the one pictured here except for the loop on the handle.  It has turned out to be his favorite implement lately! When used moderately it produces a pleasant warming tingle.  But..... Ash is not always a moderate man, that thing bites when he swings it hard.  Last night I needed a spanking to help me cope with the pain of a chronic condition(questions? read Here) and I had already been spanked with the big wooden spatula earlier in the day for my attitude.  I wasn't sore, but I asked him if he could start off easy and work up to full swing since I wasn't in trouble.  He kind of chuckled at me.  I had thought that the 20 or so hard swats I got earlier in the kitchen were sufficient restitution for my earlier attitude, but apparently he didn't because he did about 5 strokes medium and then immediately went to full-force swings.  The tears flowed then. I started out in the position he calls "head down ass up" on the bed, but after about a minute I gradually lay flat as it was far too painful to hold position.  After about 5 minutes just as I was relaxing into the pain, he stopped. Normally I can't wait for him to be finished, but I had just "progressed to the next level"(I don't know what else to call it--when the strokes are just as hard but a bit easier to take after a few minutes?) and wanted him to keep going.  But, it was late and past my bedtime.  I went to bed with a smile and a rosy bottom. The flogger has no thud whatsoever, just sting, and it doesn't last for more than half an hour, so I'm sitting pretty today.  I was promised a repeat tonight :)

I have a confession to make.......

I have recently been working hard at effective communication with my husband about topics that fluster and embarrass me.  Today, it is taking the form of a "Let's pretend, and this is what I imagine" type letter to him.  I can imagine what his response will be :)


Dear Sir,

I have a confession to make:  I have been feeling a little mischievous and I’ve been very tempted to be disobedient these past few days! I don’t like feeling this way, but I don’t act on these feelings because I don’t want you to be disappointed in me. I don’t want to do anything too bad….I just want you to be angry or frustrated enough with me  that you really want to teach me a lesson not to mess with the boss.  Last night was very nice and I did enjoy my time with you, especially after you were done whipping me and let me “thank” you properly on my knees.  But….I am still feeling like being a bit wicked! So let’s pretend that I really did drop your phone in the bath…..which I took while you weren’t home!  When you asked me where your phone was and I told you what happened, would you make me take my pants off and stand in front of you in just my panties and t-shirt while you lectured me about following the rules?  Would you tell me I was a very naughty girl? Would you make me ask you nicely for my spanking before pulling me down over your lap on the bed? I would say “Please spank me hard, Sir” even though I didn’t want you to because I would know I deserved it. And even though I don’t want to be punished I would only beg a couple of times “Please don’t spank me, I’ll be good!”  But I’m sure you wouldn’t listen to me because you know that if you don’t thoroughly assert yourself when I misbehave that I will think you don’t care about me anymore.  And you really do love me, so you would make up your mind to show me just how much! I would squirm over your lap a little bit I’m sure, as I heard you open the paddle drawer to choose an implement.  I would be praying that it’s not the motivator!  Since you would be spanking me because I was bad, I just know you would spank hard right from the start! You would probably ignore my desperate pleas and tell me to hold still and take my spanking since I earned it.  Would you put your leg over mine to stop my kicking from ruining your aim? Would I try to wiggle away, only to discover that I can’t move and I am completely at your mercy?  I think I would feel helpless then and remember that you really are the boss, as you light a fire in my bottom cheeks!  Would you pull my panties down then to make sure I could feel every hard, fast smack?  I know you would keep going until my ass was bright red all over and I was crying hard, because that’s how to make sure naughty wives remember to behave.  You would probably stop then and ask me if I was going to be good.  Of course I would answer “Yes, Sir” because I don’t want to be spanked anymore!  But you wouldn’t really care about what I want right then, just about what I need.  And I bet you’d think I need a little more “convincing” to really be good and not end up in trouble again anytime soon.  So you would decide to keep going, slower but very hard, while you remind me why I’m in trouble.  I bet you’d say “Do NOT take a bath unless I am home!” and “You should have been paying attention to the phone so it wouldn’t drop!” in between smacks. Then, once you were convinced that I was one very sorry girl, you would let me up and hold me.  You would tell me that it’s ok now and that I am your good girl again.  And I would know that you speak the truth: the punishment you selflessly administered has magically transformed me into an angel, and I know I wouldn’t feel the urge to be a brat for quite a while! 

Communication.....It's hard!

Oh, the expressing of personal, private and confusing feelings to a rational-thinking man! Last night it was announced that I would be spanked today.  Not for anything in particular, but just because it has been a while.  Before Thanksgiving I was getting spanked (usually to tears) at least every other day for reasons various and sundry.  However, after the very long holiday breaks with our kids at home, like 31 extra days off between November and January, we totally fell out of the habit of spanking.  I still always get swats, sometimes really hard ones, throughout the day just because he likes to smack my butt :)  But even though I am pretty well-behaved, I do feel that I personally and our relationship generally both really benefit from my husband tanning my hide occasionally.
  I was trying to explain this to my husband this morning after he had spanked me moderately for just a few minutes.....then said we were done. Just enough to make me wiggle and get mad at him.  I didn't mean to,

A Letter to my Husband--Warning!! Sexual Content

 

I recently sent my husband this email after asking him a question and getting an answer I didn't expect.  I like to check in with him periodically to see if he would appreciate any changes or additions to our sex life.  He said he would like a day to compose his answer, and I am patiently awaiting his response.

Honey I have some questions for you.  Sexually speaking I think I may be confused about what exactly turns you on.  As people, we are constantly evolving and changing and this is good, but I want to make sure we stay on the same page.  When I asked you today if you ever felt like telling me to get on my knees, calling me your slut, and fucking my mouth and you said no, it was confusing to me because you have done that before.  I enjoyed it, and you seemed to at the time as well.  So I guess I just want to discuss with you what you currently enjoy (obviously not that :) )  and what I currently enjoy.  I'll start with me, since I already know what I like.  As with everything in life, my wants and needs go through phases.  Right now, what turns me on the most is knowing that I am pleasing you and knowing that if I don't please you I will be punished (I know this is not reality, just a fantasy in my head as of now, but I enjoy thinking about it) in whatever way you choose. I also love sucking your cock and licking your balls. I love when I can do anything to give you pleasure. I just wish I knew more ways to do that.  I really enjoy being physically AND mentally dominated by you. 

Spanking a cold Bum

My husband took me shopping yesterday, for groceries, in 11 degree weather.  I'm so glad that he came because I got to sit in the car all toasty while he loaded up and put the cart away, woo-hoo!
When we got home I did help carry our stuff in, as it did require 3 trips from each of us to get it all in.  Now, you may not know this, but my husband is a booty smacker.  It's one of the things I love about him.  When we began dating and were getting close, discussing our expectations for a partner, I remember telling him: "I am all for chivalry and romance and equality, but I also want a man who's not afraid to smack my ass and tell me to get him another beer!" I was young, and it was as eloquent as I could be at the time :)  but he understood.  He took that as the green light to smack my bottom whenever he wanted, which I didn't protest, as we hadn't had the "spanking talk" yet, and I wasn't sure I wanted to at that point.  So, while I am spanked frequently, I also get a few swats here and there throughout the day just because he wants to and he can. But enough back-story,  back to the point .  After we got all the bags in Ash came up to me, turned me around, and began smacking my butt with his hand.  I jumped at squealed after the first few, as it hurt a lot more than a smack from a hand would. He got a mischievous twinkle in his eye then and asked "Oh, poor baby, does it hurt?"  To which I replied, "Yes! My ass is freezing from being out shopping and it hurts much more right now!"   He made a pouty face at me, then he smiled and I was told to bend over the couch! I tried to get out of it by telling him that I really needed to put the groceries away, but of course he said that could wait.  So I obeyed, pleading with him to use only his hand.  Thank goodness he listened, because he made me pull my pants and panties down and proceeded to smack away for at least a couple minutes. I didn't cry like usual, but I sure yelped and wriggled at lot! That seemed to satisfy him though :)  I think that I must forget every year that a cold bottom hurts more when spanked, because I never remember until he does it! I'd better be good now, though, as he's promised to make me sit in the snow bare-assed for a minute first if he has to punish me this month.  I told him that would never happen cause I am such an angel, but I don't think he believed me (the nerve!). 

Come on honey, you know you want to turn it pink!

Implements: do you have any that you either prefer or can't stand?  What's the strangest thing you've been spanked with? Either point of view(ladies or gents) welcome.  My husband is a creative guy when it comes to whacking my butt. I've been spanked with a hanger, an un-braided leather belt, a small fry pan, a metal spoon, a yardstick, a dowel rod, and a long extension piece of my vacuum!

My personal favorite right now is the black leather belt that my husband fashioned into a spanking strap just for me :x It has just the right combination of bite and thud, and pretty easy to deal with for a couple of minutes. 

 I also hate like the new large wooden spatula that I brought home as a present for him recently (if he uses it moderately--not when he goes hard and fast!).  It's about palm-sized and heavy for a kitchen item.  If I had know just how stingy this thing is I may not have purchased it :)  

My least favorite is the big scary wood paddle. It's about an inch thick, yikes! It is mainly used for the "short sharp shock" type of spanking, or to make a point at the end of one. And boy does it! I avoid this thing like the plague.  It's strange, but it makes my cheeks feel numb and bee-stung at the same time

We also have a black plastic paddle.  It was our very first implement.  My husband took me to a store one town over that sold exclusively lingerie and sex toys/accessories.  After he helped me pick out the paddle, he made me be the one to bring it up and hand it to the young male clerk so he could pay for it! I think that may have been the most embarrassing thing I ever had to do :"> I blush easily and I'm sure I was lobster colored until we got home.

That about sums up our "collection".  He used to use a hairbrush too but recently broke that one one me. Lately Ash has told me that he wants a bigger paddle with holes for when I am particularly snapish or attitudey (his words, not mine!) I would really prefer that we don't get one.  However, I have a feeling that it, or something else sinister is going to find its way to me soon because today he had me sit on his lap and asked if I was naughty or nice.  I couldn't help but tell him how 'naughty' I've been, and he said "What should a naughty girl get in her Christmas stocking?"  I answered with, "A lump of coal!"  He just shook his head and grinned (quite evilly if you ask me!). I was kidding of course but I got the distinct impression that he wasn't. 

And The Answer is.......My HOH!

I love it when I try to do something I shouldn't and he doesn't let me! I don't do it on purpose, and I am mad at him at the time, but afterwards I realize my mistake and am so appreciative of him :)

A Spanking Every Hour

Update to: One Happy Woman......For Now!
Well, it is official. I am well-spanked!  Getting spanked every hour, on the hour from 9 am to 3 pm, and then again before bed at 10, didn't sound so bad when my husband Ash proposed the idea two days ago.  In fact, I was kind of excited.  I love to feel his power over me, even if I don't love the temporary pain.  The knowledge that I would be getting "taken in hand" so regularly revved my engine! Also, the spankings he gives me really help my overall pain levels, and I HATE having to ask him outright to spank me because it makes me feel like a naughty little girl confessing a misdeed and asking for her sentence to be handed down! That couldn't have anything to do with the delighted and devilish smirk he gets when I ask, could it?
 So I thought his idea was a good one and I was relieved to not have the embarrassment of asking for one day.  However, I didn't take into account the fact that he had given me a pretty rough belt whipping (at my request) the day he thought of this plan (Wednesday).  Luckily he didn't implement the hourly spankings until Thursday, but the areas that bruised and swelled from the belt were just as bad Thursday as they were the day I got them.
For my first spanking of the day at 9, I asked if we could speak about the state of my bottom before he began, and he said yes, but I had to get into position first! Smart man, too, because I definitely remember not to be sassy when I'm bent over for him.  I pointed out the areas I was concerned about, and he said, "Well, I guess your thighs are going to get it a lot today then."  So not what I was trying to say! True to his word, he did focus much of his loving attention on the very under-swell of my backside and the tops of my thighs, throughout the day's "activities". I was spanked with his hand, the big belt, the black plastic paddle, and  the back scratcher throughout the day, and a plastic dowel before bed.  Thankfully he didn't use the super scary big wood paddle at all.  That one always bruises and hurts quite badly. So this morning I am a vibrant mix of purple and blue blotches in the back, but I'm not too sore. Interestingly, Ash(who NEVER give a warm-up!) did do a warm-up session before each spanking in consideration of the state my bottom was already in.  While it helped me to be able to better tolerate each session, I'm not sure it helped prevent any more bruising.  In the end (no pun intended!) I consider the experiment a success.  I got a lot of attention, and Ash's arm and shoulder got a workout. We had fun, but I think I'll stick to my once or twice a day from now on. 

This is not my own backside, but the marks are similar to what I'm rockin' now!

One Happy Woman...For Now!!!!

Today I told my husband, who is not a natural "spanko" that I would probably always need more spanking than would naturally cross his mind.  I told him this because I thought he was getting bored with me.  I usually get spanked at least once a day, sometimes thoroughly and other times not so thoroughly.  This helps me in ways I can't really explain, but it reduces my overall physical pain level greatly.  He knows this and is always willing to help, but I want him to enjoy himself too! His response was, "Ok, for the next several days I will spank you every hour.  Every two minutes seems excessive, but every hour sounds good!"  Oh, what have I gotten myself into?  I will let you know how it goes if I can sit to type any time soon :)

Why do I Want to Bite my Husband When he Spanks me?

I wonder if I am alone in this feeling?  In the big picture, I want my husband to spank me anytime he feels it would benefit me/him/us.  But as soon as I know I will be getting a spanking soon, I get nervous.  I hesitate when he calls me over, I pull my pants down when asked but then try to tug my shirt lower.  It takes forever for me to get into position, hoping to delay the process, but I get hurried along with swats anyway.  As my butt is being rained upon by a fiery brush that must have come from hell, all I can think about is how much it hurts and try to stay in position.  If I am spanked long enough, usually a few minutes after I start really crying, I turn into an obedient angel ready and willing to please my husband.  However, if he stops short of that, I come up trying desperately not to utter the words waiting to spring forth from my tongue. Words like bigmeaniestupidheadIdon'tlikeyourightnow! and goawaythathurtyoua-hole!  Words that needless to say(but I'm still saying it!), are generally not well received.  This is what happened today. I am sitting on a freshly spanked backside at the moment and have been ordered asked by my husband to write about my feelings and view of the experience. So, in mostly non-fiction format, here is how I experienced my spanking:

"Okay, it's time.  Go fetch the brush," Ash said, looking at his beautiful wife of 10 years.  "Already? How come I have to go get it?" she replied feeling embarrassed that she had to do this, not quite whining but close.  "Because I have the power, and I order you to get it," he told her, daring her with a stern look to push the issue.  He knew that the real answer was that it was a sign of his dominance and her submission, and it helped put her in the right mindset to be disciplined, but he waited for her to comply without further explanation. "Fine, but I have to use the bathroom first," she said, reluctantly getting up from her perch on the sofa and heading to the bathroom.  Once inside, she prepared for her impending fate by using the facilities, brushing her hair, pulling all the hair out of the brush that was there from before and examining different items on the counter before she was rudely interrupted by a knock and a "Hurry up in there!" from the bossy gentleman outside the door.  Time to face the music.  She opened the door and handed the instrument of her doom to the man that was about to demonstrate his love for her in a very unconventional way.
She went to her usual spot over the back of the couch when she heard "Pants down, young lady."

Sent to bed early without dinner, because I am a dork!

Okay, so this is a weird one, even for me.  I sometimes take a muscle relaxer for some of the medical issues I face,  and Wednesday this week I ended up using one.  I only use them when I can't stand the symptoms anymore and I want to chew my own arm off. They are potent, so I only took a half but I still had to deal with the side effects of the pill: feeling quite loopy and groggy.  I also don't drink often, but my sweet husband had brought me a beer home from the store and it sounded good, so when he asked if I wanted it I said "Sure, thanks honey.  That sounds great!"  Now, before you begin mentally chastising me, the pill hadn't quite kicked in yet at that point, and we had both forgotten that I had taken it.  Still, I should have known better: it was truly dorky behavior.  Within an hour of drinking one beer I could hardly stand up and could NOT stop yawning.
 I was trying to make dinner when my husband noticed my zombie-like state.  He asked me if I was okay, then realized that I had drank alcohol and taken a muscle relaxer at pretty much the same time. He asked me